How We Change (Gerard Way X Reader)

11

While everyone is fighting about who goes first I take my chance.
"NOSE GOES!" I shout in the middle of the chatter. Then it goes silent.
I put my finger on my nose first.
Ray second.
Gerard third.
Mikey fourth.
And... Frank!

"FRANKS IT!" I shout in Victory starting fit of finger pointing and messing with Frank.

"FUCK FINE!" Frank runs to the corner of the room and starts counting instantly.
We all immediately split up our own ways(hehe Way) threw the house. I look around and as the time almost runs out I remember!

I ran to the bookshelves shifted in the corner, it makes a space behind it to hide. Donna Way moved it like that when we were younger just for me to hide behind. It's still my number 1 spot.
I smile or myself just thinking about it.

I ran over quietly and squeezed myself in the tight space. Damn I'm not as small as I used to be, that's for sure.
As I squeeze threw finally I hit a wall.

Wait walls can grab your waist?!

I look up to see one Gerard Way... with his arms around my waist!
Fuck.

"Oh hello." I whisper to him. "Funny seeing you here." I joke.

"Yah, I didn't think you would remember." He whispered back

"Gerard, I've already told you. I remember everything." I look into his eyes to show him I mean it.
We stare into each other's eyes like two main characters. In this moment it felt like it was only the two of us in the world. His arms around me gave me comfort in that.
But of course that wasn't the case.

"READY OR NOT HERE I COME!!" Frank's voice knocks us out of our state.

"Oh sorry." Gerard awkwardly apologize before he lets his arms slip from around me.
Once again that empty feeling comes back into my heart.

Sometimes I just want to say
'GOD DAMMIT YOU PARTY POISIN, RAIL ME ALREADY'
But you know, I guess that's just 'not proper' or whatever.

But anytime I'm around him, I just feel better.

"Okay Frank just went to the other side of the house." Gerard whisper.
I nod in reply.
"So are you sure your ready to move out?" He asked.

"Well, like you said. I need my own place to stay at." I brush of with a smile.
I look at the ground replaying that moment in my head.
He put his hand on my chin and raised my gaze up to his.

"Hey, you know I didn't mean that, it was in the heat of the moment kind of the thing." He reasons.

"I know but... my minds a bad place, you know?" I sigh.
He says he didn't mean it but yet he will never say sorry.

That's the difference between us. I say sorry a lot, but I truly mean it. Gerard always had a hard time saying sorry, even if he did say it you never know if it's true or not.

After a while I stopped hoping he would say it. Unless it was truly bad he won't say it and mean it.

I move his hand away from my face and instantly feel it's absents. I turn the other direction to avoid his stare.

Dammit Y/N, what's wrong with you. You have him all back again but you still can't get comfortable?! I thought this is what I wanted but it's not like how it used to be.
We both have changed.
Part of me still doesn't want to except that. But if I don't then I will never feel comfortable with him ever again.

I feel arms his wrap around me from behind. His body brushed up agains me as he rested his head on my shoulder.

I can't help but think out loud.
"You know, we will never be the same as we were before." I whisper to him.