messy love •harrypotterxoc•

• chapter forty nine (4)

pansy was heartbroken, fully and completely heartbroken

she wiped her tear-tainted cheeks with her dirty sleeve and looked at the letter again. the writing was slightly smudged from when she'd first gotten it as she'd reread it over and over again letting fresh tears stain the old parchment. her eyes scanned the paper as her hands tightened around the bedding covering her tall body.

she was sat in her living room, covers surrounding her lanky body aswell as piles of tissues filled with snot and tears. she had crisp packets and ice cream tubs on the side table. pansy, unbothered to clean anything, sat there not being able to move or do anything without bursting out in tears and breaking down.

her mother lying on the other sofa, passed out due to exhaustion, was snoring lightly after refusing to leave pansy alone as she cried. 4 days, 4 days she'd been there with pansy, holding her in her numb, tired arms as she broke down

quietly pansy walked to the kitchen and got a cup of coffee, she didn't want to go to sleep and miss a letter of brier explaining it was all a joke, a sick joke at that though, but pansy wouldn't care she'd forgive her straight away with open arms and a broad smile filling her dull hollow face

gulping down the coffee she reread the letter, eyes brimming with tears already, covering her mouth to conceal any sound that might come out with her shaking piano fingers. she traced over the letter hoping maybe it would vanish and all be a dream or hallucination. hell she'd even welcome some type of disease that causes hallucinations just so it would be over and not real

her eyes painted the parchment with new tears once again ripping slightly with the dampness of it. placing it on the table she walked back over to the couch and plopped herself down sighing before turing to the window and staring out at the view through the window in which showed the old manor estates and the little village which held less then one big shop scattered around a few post office and a bar where all the drunks go, throwing up on the ground painting the floor with foul memories of whatever they were trying to drink away the previous night

"pansy are you still awake, darling" her mum asked lifting her head from the slobber filled pillow

"yes" pansy said in a hoase voice as it slightly broke from not using it and only letting out sobs through it

"you should get some sleep, love, if a letter comes i'll tell you okay" mrs parkinson said walking over to pansy who's figure was slightly larger then her own due to pansy having her fathers height. she took pansys figure in her arms and pulled the girl into her chest stroking her head humming

"you promise you'll wake me up a soon as it comes" pansy said, eyelids dropping slightly

"i promise" her mum swore to her massaging pansy scalp. pansy quickly fell into a slumber with her mum humming a soothing song into pansys hair, kissing it randomly every once in a while

placing pansys sleeping body on the couch and covering her in blankets, she grabbed all the empty tubs of ice cream and the tissues and cleaned around. she placed it all in the bin around the corner. she tided the pillows around pansy and the blankets before walking into her office and grabbing one of the candle she bought and lit in on the table next to pansy

the candle was vanilla scented with a light scent of rainy days 'calming and soothing' the label said. exsacly what pansy needed right now

pansys mum worked as a metal healer. ironic isn't it, it's what pansy needs right now and her mother is perfect for the help. she has candles and incense that produce an aura in the room doing whatever it reads on the front label

she walked to the kitchen and got herself a cup of coffee, putting pansys back in the sink letting the remaining coffee grains at the bottom sink down the drain, and touched the letter pansy left

she knew she shouldn't read it but as a healer she needed to know what she was healing, and as a mother she need too always. she only got strangled sobs and words out of pansy none really saying what happened but pansy needed her more then she needed to know what happened

-
dear pans,

i need to tell you something and you won't like it but it just has to be said now rather then later and i regret not doing it sooner

We have to be realistic when we look at our potential future together. After we had talked about our plans for the future, it became obvious to me, and probably to you too, that our futures just don't align. We want different things, and this is just too much to ignore.

It's best we part now and learn to live without each other instead of going on together knowing it will someday end. I know that it has to be this way, and I can't disregard my hopes and dreams for the future just for us to fail. I also know you would not be happy if you gave up your dreams for me either.

Even though it hurts right now, this is what's best for the both of us. i've grown up and realised this isn't going to work for either of us.

im sorry

brier
-

breathing in, pansy mum felt upset and sick, she knew that brier was a good kid who focused on her grades so that in the future she could make a life for herself but she didn't think she'd take it this far as in breaking pansys heart so that she could excel in life

sighing she went back to pansy and lifted up her tall body and place it back down once she'd sat down, stroking her hair. she sat there wondering what her life would be like if she hadn't of married tobias, pansy father, because she wanted a different future to him but she didn't regret her Choice. it not only brought an undying love it brought pansy and for that she couldn't be more grateful. she loved pansy father and proberly always will and he loved her until his last dying breath and afterwards

but her heart ached for tom just as pansys ached for briers right now