Agent Parker of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Becoming an Agent Part 1

Peter had trained harder than any S.H.I.E.L.D. agent ever had. He perfected his fighting techniques. Practiced every single way to knock out somebody. He could kill with a shoelace in 150 different ways. 200 with a belt. 50 with his pinky finger. 20 with his big toe. He could intimidate anyone within a 20-foot radius of his. He could get an answer out of somebody in less than 5 minutes. He could speak and write in 100 languages and all of their dialects. He knew 10 different types of sign language. 10 coding languages. He could hack into any database no matter the amount of security. He could get himself out of any situation. He could disappear in a second without a trace. He could be S.H.I.E.L.D.'s best agent. But now it is actually time to become one.

Okay, we gotta back up a few weeks.

Peter and Natasha were sparring. This time, she made Peter wear power-dampening handcuffs, limiting his range of motion and dampening most of his powers. With his hands behind his back, he couldn't punch but he can kick and jump. He decided to try his Мама Паук's signature move. 

During a split second that she was distracted, he leaped onto her shoulders. He wrapped his legs around her neck and started suffocating her. He eventually took her down to the ground. He waited for her to tap out before he let go so she could catch her breath. Once she did he helped her up. 

"Молодец ребенок паук!" she exclaimed. "Спасибо, мама, паук, но не могла бы ты снять это с меня, теперь они болят, и мне странно не иметь моих способностей?" he asked. "Спасибо, мама, паук, но не могла бы ты снять это с меня, теперь они болят, и мне странно не иметь моих способностей." she replied. "Отлично," he answered. (good job baby spider, thanks mama nayk but could you get these off of me they kinda hurt and it feels weird not to have my powers, no i want to see you do it, fine)

He twisted his arms to bring them in front of his body instead of behind. He brought his wrists to an area below his chin and swiftly dislocated his thumb. This gave him to slip his hand out. He popped the joint back into place and did the same with the other hand. He dropped the handcuffs to the floor and waited for his powers to return. 

After a few seconds, he did a backflip to ensure the return of his powers. He sighed in relief. He then looked at Natasha. "Готово," Peter said. "Молодец ребенок паук!" she replied. "Спасибо мама паук." They decided to go find Clint. This was one of the rare times that they were all in the same place. 

After a few minutes, they spotted Clint in the cafeteria. They grinned at each other. "Bene ergo introivit et haerebunt spiracula tecta metu possumus, cum illico fit quando ante eum cibus regius At ego faciam. Obtinuit eam?" asked Peter in Latin knowing that his Uncle doesn't understand the language. "Obtinuit eam," she responded while simultaneously climbing into the vents. (Okay so I will stick to the ceiling and you go in the vents and we can jumpscare him when he is done getting his food but I'll mess with him before we do that. Got it? got it)

They both moved silently towards an unsuspecting Clint. Natasha positioned herself in a vent above the table that Clint always eats at while Peter followed him through the Buffet line using a newfound ability to tickle Clint. (organic webbing) 

Clint kept putting a hand to his neck every time he felt something so across it. He just shrugged it off as the A/C when he kept coming back with nothing although the "gust of wind" followed him. He sat down at "his" table and started eating. He was halfway through his meal when an ex-Russian spy landed on his table in her signature crouch. Her sudden movement catapulted his food and it landed on his face. And it just so happens that his glorious meal was spaghetti. He now had spaghetti sauce all over his face and a few stray noodles two.