Written In This Diary Are The Feelings That I Can't Change - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 10 - Louis POV

I had excused myself from movie night yet again, with the pretext of being with Eleanor. I was in fact with Eleanor but now she had to leave. I let her go because I am being rather selfish, she's always with me so that I can escape from Harry. I really owe her; she has helped me so very much and I am glad she is leaving and devoting some time to her personal life. Eleanor and I have built a special relation but I can never love her like I love Harry. Once she left, I strolled around for nearly half an hour before sitting in a park for a good hour or so. I was now exhausted and I decided to head home hoping that the other boys would have left by now, else I guess I'd just have to sit and watch the remaining movie with them.

The moment I opened the door I was met with the sound of feet running upstairs. I saw Liam and Zayn running upstairs and I was immediately worried. Liam is the 'daddy direction'; he'd never run up the stairs unless there was a valid reason. I quickly crept upstairs and I heard Liam say, "Guys what's happening here?" I heard Harry sob and Niall started a sentence but he stopped. I was confused why. Then I heard him say, "Sorry Haz but you need help. I have to tell them." I was immediately worried, what was wrong with my Haz? Niall then said, "So guys when Harry said he had to go to the washroom, I knew he was just escaping us because he wanted to cry. I saw him raise his hand to put around Louis and he started speaking before realizing that he wasn't there. I saw tears in his eyes as he went upstairs. I decided to follow thinking I could comfort him a bit. When I went upstairs two minutes later, I heard the door of Harry's bathroom and I was puzzled as to what he was doing till then. That's when I saw a book that looked just like his song book. However, when I looked closely, I saw it was different. I read through it and trust me it was beautiful. Harry loves Louis and he is suffering because, I don't know if you have realized, but Louis ignores him more than anyone. The book is filled with his emotions and songs he wrote for Louis. I then came to a diary entry where- where he mentioned that he started to cut. That's when I realized what he was doing. So, I knocked on the bathroom door and asked him what was wrong. He told me he was fine and that I could go. I, however wanted answers, so, I waited till he came out before getting him here and making him show me his wrists. They-they're covered in cuts." I heard him burst in tears and all the boys launched into a large group hug around Harry.

I felt guilty; I was the reason Harry cut. I felt lonely; I missed being with the boys. I also felt depressed; Harry loved me and I loved him but we can't be together. I was so overwhelmed that I didn't realize the sob that left my mouth. Then I heard Harry call out, "Louis?"