Written In This Diary Are The Feelings That I Can't Change - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 13 - Louis POV

The boys were talking about something but all I could think of were the names he called me, he called me the weakest member of one direction. Was it true? Was I really a bad singer? Maybe that's why I got the least solos and most beards. The hateful words floated through my head and they were echoing in my ears. Tears burned in my eyes and trickled down my cheeks.

I was shaken out of my daze by Harry rubbing my back and asking me what was wrong. I asked him, "Was it true?" He looked at me confusion written across his face. "Was what true baby?" He asked me ever so gently. "What the guy from management said. He said that I'm the worst singer and that I am the weakest member. Is it true?" I asked. "No baby," Harry said hugging me. "You have a beautiful voice baby; you are so very talented. Don't believe them Lou; if they think you aren't talented, then they don't know what talent means. Remember Lou, if you weren't good enough would you have been chosen for the band. And baby, you aren't weak. You are so strong. You had to be away from me and fake date Eleanor and you did it all, just for me. You are strong babes. I had the boys, their love, everything and I still started cutting; whereas you had to be away from us, make us hate you and you still were so strong. I love you Lou, I love every little thing about you." His words calmed me down, made me feel strong. He called me strong but he is what made me strong. I love him so much.

Niall then started speaking, "Haz what was that last sentence, it sounded familiar." Harry repeated the sentence and then Niall gasped, "Haz, it sounds like one of your songs from your diary." "Oh yes," Harry said, "That sounded like little things." "Little things?" I asked. I hadn't heard the name of this song. "It's one of the songs I wrote for you when you were ignoring me." Harry explained. "One of? Please play them all Hazzie, please." I asked flashing him my puppy dog eyes. "Fine," He sighed, "How can I resist that look." I cheered and me and the boys sat around Harry to listen to the songs. He quickly grabbed his guitar and before he could start Niall said, "Hey Haz take the diary. Before each song read us the related entry. It makes the song even more beautiful and deep. Oh, and sing the original lyrics not the changed ones."

Harry started with the first song and it's diary entry. An hour later he had finished all the songs and the boys had left, leaving just the both of us. The moment the door closed, it seemed me and Harry had the same idea as we both leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was innocent and meaningful and after we broke apart, we both leant in again. It was like a drug we couldn't get enough of. This time the kiss was more passionate and heated and we stumbled the couch. I fell onto Harry and he winced as my hand pressed down on his wrist. That's when I remembered that Harry had started cutting. No matter, how much I wanted to continue kissing Harry I knew we had to discuss his problem. "Haz, do we need help for your depression. I know that I'm back now and you aren't depressed but I've heard that it takes ages to come clean." Harry immediately froze and then began protesting, "Lou, I'm fine now. Please don't make me go through therapy or anything of the sort. I'll get better without externa help. Please don't make me go to any treatment. I'll be fine now that I've got you. Please Lou."

"Fine," I gave in, "But if you ever get the urge to cut, please come to me. I love you and I'll help you. You can come and just talk to me, ask me to cuddle with you or watch a movie. Just tell me, I'll help. I don't want anything hurting you."