Written In This Diary Are The Feelings That I Can't Change - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 12 - Louis POV

Finally, a long one.

When I realized what I told Harry I ran off; he wasn't supposed to know the truth. I called Eleanor. "El, I told Harry everything by accident, I messed up what should I do. And Harry loves me and he has started cutting because of me. What should I do help me," I rambled into the phone. "Oh, so you finally confessed your undying love for Harry, I was waiting for it." I was shocked. Before I could say anything, she asked me, "Where are you? Still with lover boy I hope," "No I ran away as soon as I said that I loved him, I shouldn't have said it." I said panicky.

"Chill, Lou. It's alright, he had to know the truth eventually. Just ensure that management doesn't come to know that you've told the boys. You had to tell Harry; else this would have surely killed the both of you. Now go get your boy."

I was about to argue back but I knew she was right. Being apart, killed both me and Harry. "Fuck it." I said to myself before cutting the call and running back home.

Once home I quickly opened the door and rushed to Harry's room where I assumed he would be. Surely enough there he was. He was simply sitting there and staring off into space, while the other boys were trying to help him calm down and bring him to reality.

"Haz," I started, causing all the boys to turn my way. Even Harry looked at me. "Haz, I meant what I said," I say, "I really love you and Eleanor is a friend. When we got papped together, management got her to fake date. She is the one who has helped stay sane without you. I was not allowed to tell you that Eleanor is just a beard. Management told me that I couldn't tell any of you guys, else they would ruin Harry's career. I know how much his career means to him, I couldn't let management destroy it so I didn't tell anyone that me and Eleanor are fake dating.

Everyone stared at me before Harry spoke up, "Why did you ignore me then?" His voice was quiet and hoarse, laced with insecurity. He seemed as though he was afraid of the answer.

"I know I shouldn't have ignored you. However, when I saw the hurt in your eyes when I told you that I had a girlfriend, I couldn't bear it. Then later, I felt guilty for hiding the truth from you and I felt as though I deserved your hatred, that's why I pretended I didn't care about our friendship. When I saw the hurt and anger in your eyes, I felt so horrible but I felt I deserved it. I became selfish and started ignoring you so that I didn't have to see your sadness, knowing I was the cause."

No one said anything and Liam and Zayn were visibly fuming, obviously not considering my excuse worthy enough. Niall and Harry were silent and Niall was scrutinizing me with furrowed eyebrows. I sighed and said, "I'm sorry." Then I turned to Harry, "I really do love you Haz. If you guys don't want to forgive me, I think it's better I leave." As I turned around to leave, I felt a soft touch I had been longing for. Harry had held my hand. He turned me around and kissed me passionately. It took me a moment to grasp onto what was going on, after which, I returned the kiss with equal passion. When we broke apart, Harry said, "I love you too Lou, I always have." I hugged him tightly and moments later, I felt three more pairs of arms hugging me.

"Get off you're squishing me, you giants!" I screeched, the moment becoming too emotional for my comfort.

"Yay! I got my sassy best friend back!" Zayn exclaimed and then in a more serious tone he said. "Really bro, we missed you. Nothing was half as fun without your jokes and mischief."

I just smiled; happy we were back together. Harry pulled me down and whispered, "I love you." In my ear and my grin just grew wider. We were all enjoying the moment when my phone rang. I saw it was management and paled. Harry noticed and said, "Boo, who is it babes?"

"Management." I replied my voice weak. He told the boys to be silent and told me to answer the call and put it on speaker.

I was met with insults, "Tomlinson, you fag, a member of management overheard you telling Eleanor that you told the boys the truth. Is it so?" I remained silent. "Speak up Tomlinson." "Yes." I replied mentally cursing myself for sounding so weak. "Tomlinson, you are the worst member of one direction, how many times should we tell you? You can't sing so at least listen to us fag. Do you really want to ruin Harry's career? If not go and tell him right now that you were lying and that Eleanor is your girlfriend." By now the tears were cascading down my cheeks. I didn't know what to say. Before I could think of a response, Harry spoke, "Who the fuck do you think you are. Just because you are our management doesn't mean you own us. If me and Louis want to be together, we can. You have no right to order us about. And I know very well that your threats are empty because if you remove me from the band, I doubt the boys will stay with you." "We won't, trust us." Liam said. I could hear the person from management curse under their breath then say, "Fine we can allow you to be together but you will have to fake date Eleanor for another month and then you have to stage a break-up. However, you and Harry cannot go public. Understand?" I immediately agreed and cut the phone.