With My Childhood Friend (bxb)

Chapter 4 - Insult

A N D R E I

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I woke up at exactly 7:00am, which is strange kasi usually nagigising ako every 10 or 11 in the morning e. Iba pala talaga pag nandito sa Province. I miss this place.

Naaalala ko ang childhood days ko with Darwin. Lahat ng mga kalokohan namin noon, we were so silly.

Napaisip lang ako, about sa sa hindi ko pagsabi sa kanya na babalik na kami ng Manila noong mga bata pa kami. I left him dun sa madalas naming pinaglalaruan ng tagu-taguan noon. Ano kaya naramdaman nya nun? Did he cried? Did he got mad at me?

At bat mo iniisip yan Andrei? Diba mailap kana sa mga tao? Don't act as if you are concern, coz you're not. Iniwan mo nga sya ng walang paalam right? Panggugulo ng isip ko.

I don't know, things has changed. When i saw him at the door nung bagong dating namin. He was smiling, he's still the Darwin that i used to know before, except of course na nagbago ng kunti ang physical appearance nya. They welcome us. Pero pinili kong maging blanko lang ang reaksyon ko.

He even called me Master which feels awkward kasi malalaki na kami pero ganun parin tawag nya kaya i decided not to allow him to call me that name again. Nasungitan ko tuloy sya. Suplado na kung suplado, masungit na kung masungit pero ganun ako e.

I don't understand my self either, basta naging ganto nalang ako when my ex broke up with me when we were in junior Highschool. She was also my childhood friend sa Manila. I was so inlove with her. Maybe because i was too young back then, i was too impulsive giving my time and attention to the girl i really love. Kaya nung hiniwalayan nya ko, sobrang sakit.

And the most unacceptable thing is that dahil lang sa isang bakla kaya kami naghiwalay. Sinet up ako ng isang bakla, nilasing ako, at siguro pag naglasing na ako, maybe he will take advantage on me, I don't know, i don't even remember dahil narin sa kalasingan. Buti nalang may mga kaibigan akong nakakita sa masamang balak ng p*tanginang bakla na yun kaya hindi nagtagumpauy ang baklang yun. But before pa man ako ilayo ng mga kaibigan ko sa baklang yun, my ex saw what happened. She misunderstood what she saw, she never listen to my explanation, she just ignore it and immediately broke up with me.

Naging mailap ako sa mga tao, sa mga kaibigan ko even kay mommy. Sobra akong nahirapan mag move on. But i chose not to tell anyone my problem. Sinarili ko lang yun untill i learned to control myself dealing with sadness and anger. Pero still gusto ko paring mapag-isa.

Until now hindi ko parin makalimutan yung first heartbreak ko dahil lang sa isang bakla. Kaya i hate gays. You can't blame me right?

And what's funny is that, malalaman kong hindi din pala tunay na lalaki si Darwin. I heard their conversation with the girl sa daan when I'm about to go to the bench na madalas naming pagtambayan ni Darwin noon.

Kahit na nalaman kong ganun sya, there's still on me na nagsasabing ilayo sya sa babaeng yun. Maybe because he was my childhood friend kaya nafefeel ko to. At dahil din hanggang ngayon masyado parin syang tikom habang iniinsulto na sya nung babaeng yun. Kaya dun na ko sumingit sa kanila at inaya ko si Darwin to go home with me.

Pero habang naglalakad kami pauwi, i tried my best not to be rude to him pero hindi ko napigilang insultuhin sya na bakla sya.

What i felt?

Guilt.

Bigla syang napahinto sa paglalakad. And i won't show to him na guilty ako sa sinabi ko kaya mas pinili kong iwan nalang sya sa daan. The hell i care, totoo naman sinabi ko e.