Starting Line || Carter Grayson

(4) Firetruck

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Every morning I opened my eyes meant one day closer to my twentieth birthday. Closer to a day I dreaded for two reasons. Two very painful reminders lurked the days ahead and they were hard on my family, Nova included. I dreaded them, I really did. I wouldn't go as far as saying I hated my birthday, but some years I did... when the reminder was too painful to bear. This year seemed to be one of them. I missed spending my birthdays with my twin brother. It's been eleven years since we got to celebrate a birthday together. Eleven years that my family lived without a brother and son. Eleven years that haunted me.I shuttered with sadness as I climbed out of bed, forcing myself to slip into clothes and brush my hair. I had already slept in a little later than I usually like in the mornings, but I knew work was waiting for me in the infirmary. Before going to grab a bite to eat with Nova in the galley, I stopped to grab my entry badge off my desk and stopped when faded red plastic caught my eye.

With a heavy heart and painful sigh, I traced my fingers over the crack down the side of the frame. I slipped into my desk chair, pulling the fire truck toy closer to me. I gently traced the frame, thinking about him. Eleven years. I didn't want to think about how fast the time had flown by. I didn't want to think about the painful years without him or the reason why he wasn't here. I blew out a shallow breath as I stuck my finger on the outside of the wheel and slowly spun it, hearing the plastic crinkle from the broken pieces.

I heard a slight knock on my door, but I couldn't pull my gaze away from the fire truck to get up and answer. Whoever it was would come back later or catch me in the halls. I really didn't want to be bothered at the moment, but with another knock on the door it swung open and Nova barged in. She was one of the only people who I ever let invade my privacy without even so much as a thought.

"Skye!" Nova shouted, banging on the door again, "Decent or not I'm coming in!"

I briefly glanced at her before focusing back on the object in my hands.

"Really? You still have that?" Nova asked, flopping down on my unmade bed.

I nodded quietly.

"Skye, we all miss him-" Nova started. I didn't want to hear it.

I huffed quietly and turned away from her.

Nova sighed rather loudly,  "Skye you have to get past this. The rest of us have already moved on, I don't see why you can't."

Her comment stung like a wasp. How could she even say that to me? He was my twin brother. I could never move on from my own twin's death.

I whipped my chair back around to face Nova, unintentionally letting my words slip out with pure venom laced in them, "He was my twin and you were just obsessed with him. It's not the same."

"I wasn't obsessed-" Nova scoffed, offended by my words.

"Yes you were, you never had any crushes on anyone else. And you never take off that stupid necklace! So if anyone should be getting over him it's you Nova," I yelled, my voice breaking with the last sentence as tears finally started running down my face. The emotions were already heightened as our birthdays were coming up, but her words just topped the emotions. I wanted to hide them, but she had pulled them out and now I had to stuff them back in after looking like a fool showing them in the first place.

"Don't yell at me like that when I'm trying to help you!" Nova glared at me.

I wiped tears from my face, looking back up at her struggling to find words that wouldn't sound so harsh, "Don't ignore the fact I lost the only person who ever truly understood me. Besides, you lost your dad a year after we lost him and you never, ever, talk about him."