him and i || harry styles

nine

I really love this chapter! I hope you'll too:)

azail :

It's 3 am

The night is deep, cool breeze whistled softly, blowing lightly through my hair as i watch the silvery moon, it's dotted with a dark blue night sky, and the naughty stars are running around it, chasing and playing. They are holding me and the moon, so we won't be lonely tonight!

I always believed the moon and stars are a promise of life in the darkness, a sense of warmth springing from the cold. It's a vastness to bring humbleness and an eternal space to bring gratitude for the coziness of a home.

They look so free! And that's what my heart desires the most...

I wonder, if we were nocturnal would we feel more connected to those far away stars? Perhaps sensing the fragility of Earth all the more...To me the night is when I'm sitting on a high edge of a building, high on weed and sharing my secrets with the the sky to our universe beyond.

I gaze down at the high-story drop to the busy new york city street; the traffic is jammed up for miles, upon the velvet black of the hometown roads shine the street lamps that bring the scene full bold and loud horns that the driver probably uses to warn others of the vehicle's approach, or maybe to call attention to some hazard as it is apt to fill me with some panic.

Though the deadly sight didn't beckon any fright and i didn't taste the bitterness of fear. Why else would standing on the edge of a building not make me feel sick?

I don't think I would ever get it, maybe it's the sense of control I get when I watch from above. Feeling like a God, watching everyone and taking notes of their behavior...Perhaps it's the Scorpio in me, we happen to be the most dominant freaks after all.

I raise my half smoked joint up and jam it between my lips, devoiding the smoke through the filter and letting it cascade down my throat before blowing it out through my nostrils.

That was so badass!

" I didn't get the chance to tell you this earlier but i- i lost it again a few nights
ago " i speak into the black heavens and upon this clear night.

" After 2 months of being clean " i start to lower my eyes in convoy of guilt, burying my face in my hands feeling it poke me.

" I'm so fucking sorry! " I murmur under my breath as deep emotions stir with no other outlet but through my long-lasting sobs.

Straight away i tuck a lack of hair behind my ear, wiping away my unwanted tears and slightly mouthing to myself as some type of warning
" you can't do this now "

I blow out a heavy breath " je serai
libre! " i whisper quietly under my breath, scared that the sky is tired of hearing the same shit over and over again.

Today was another typical day, made it here at 10 pm, had a couple shots together with Liam and niall, did my job and now here sitting on the edge of the building smoking a joint, I was supposed to call Caroline to come drive me home two hours ago but i don't feel like it... perhaps I'm looking forward to pulling an all nighter watching the busy New York street...this is a higher building then the one i live in makes me feel more in connection.

Catching me completely off guard, a muscular hand wraps around my stomach making terror take over me and drain the color away of my face, i gasp in total startle as my body jumped forward but immediately he tighten his grip around my hip forcefully yanking my body backward so my back smacked against his full chest.