football imagines [requests open]

joshua kimmich.

just might

There was a time when Giada saw no wrong in what she did with Joshua. He approached her and she accepted the offer. From the mutual agreement came more than enough. Money, body experiences, security and everything in between. He made her feel good through body, soul and mind and vice versa; that, essentially, was the agreement so they remained content with their decisions. Nothing appeared wrong or, at least, out of the norm without clear context and internal opinions.

When treated with care and kindness by any person, Giada's emotions made her vulnerable to anyone. That, unfortunately, included Joshua. She didn't want to; it wasn't her intention from the outset, but somehow, she couldn't look at this man the same anymore. She looked past what he gave and just focused on him. To look at Joshua as just some night experience? What he said to her; how he managed her body; how he was in charge of her getting from one place to another—it toyed with her mind, making it almost impossible for her to look at him as if he was just less than nothing.

Did he return the same energy? Giada didn't know and really, it didn't matter how he felt about her. Especially when he had expecting company at home every time he went to her place.

Where there was good, there was also bad tagging along. Maybe it was crazy for Giada to even think about it, but there were times when she thought about what it would be like to be with Joshua. Joshua and Giada rather than Joshua and Giada. To display affection in public rather than being together yet separated at the same event. To have him come home to her after training rather than having him come and go for a fun time. Permanence was something she lacked drastically with Joshua. As much as he was around, he wasn't.

Everything she wanted in a partner meant she had to be a partner, but she wasn't. She was not Joshua's girlfriend, and that was a simple fact. Giada was his second choice; the unofficial girlfriend; the homewrecker if caught. All of that—those labels, those positions in his life—left her ashamed. Not because they were shameful. For the standards Giada set for herself with men, her actions didn't link up with her mindset. She degraded herself to just a body party for him, someone to confide in with touching and grasping rather than with words and emotions.

As much as she didn't want to do it—to let go of everything she had with Joshua—Giada saw herself leaning towards that option. I mean, there wasn't that much to what they had. What it was, was just physical interaction and that's where the problem lied for Giada. The idea of love and affection, suddenly, was minimised because of what Joshua could only give her. There came a time where she would expect more from the meaning of those words. Joshua, no surprise, did not reach past her ankles with his efforts.

Why dedicate your life to someone who already has a life far beyond you? Their priorities just weren't levelling one another, but it was justified in one way and many others. Why would Joshua dedicate his life to Giada when he has football and people to care about? He didn't care for some of them that much, but he had to for the sake of it all. As far as he went to get it, there was more to life than just Giada and what she had to offer. It was either settle with what you get or let someone else take your place.

Joshua and Giada stepped out of her house and stopped in front of the driveway. Nothing had gone on between them, no. Clothes of his needed collecting. Giada didn't need to be reminded of what she lost every time she went to her closet. "So this is it, isn't it?" he asked. Giada's want to cut off all ties took him off-guard, but he would manage. Replacements in his life came about with ease.

She folded her arms over her chest. Sighing, she said, "Worry about who you have back at home, all right?"

There wasn't much about Joshua to look into. His face blank, his posture slumped. Joshua bit down on his lip as if he wanted to say something, though he just nodded and she returned it. Perhaps he had something to say, but he didn't know how to express his thoughts, and that's where the problem started. All they knew was quick talk rather than deep discussions. Then again, they weren't needed if they weren't the intention of a meeting.

Watching as Joshua drove away, Giada didn't have much to say. To rid herself of bad choices and foul play wasn't something done out of pride; instead for her well-being. She wanted to look past everything, to look forward to what she could later have. To feel loved, to feel as if she wasn't just a source of sex—that's what she wanted and she would get that without Joshua. Stray thoughts remained though she let them lay to rest for she had the right to move on.

Maybe things would have gone differently had she known about how he felt.

But she didn't know, and for her own sake, that's how everything would stay.

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For Redlovelybeast. I'm starting to go through old requests though I'm writing them and the new ones.

Kinda inspired by Just Might by Summer Walker, but not really. It's whatever.