Bittersweet (H.S AU)

CHAPTER 10: Heartbreak & Misery

AN: I know it's been so long like a month, but this chapter was so hard to write. It's the longest and the hardest chapter I've ever written in my whole life.

Anyway, I hope you'll love this chapter like I love it, please don't forget to vote and tell me your opinion and specifically don't forget to enjoy! ♥️

WORDS COUNT: 6167
READING TIME: 00:49:20

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(As I sink in the sand, watch you slip through my hands)

Jealous- Labrinth

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Love. A simple word, four simple letters, but the meaning that this word holds is not simple at all. Love can bring us all down to our knees, love makes us strong and it also makes us weak, love can make us happy and it also can make us depressed. 

Love is the most beautiful feeling and yet the worst feeling. Love is the most bittersweet feeling in this world. 

Our first day from that week. The only and the last week that I've had left with her.

The first day we were just cuddling, we didn't say anything. The depression and sadness were in the air, anyone could've felt them. 

"I wish I can make this better or less painful… I wish I can make this easier on you, Harry." Rose whispered in sadness. 

A tear slipped on my face without my control, "I wish that, too… Rose. But what we wish will always be just a wish…. a wish that we cannot reach for, just like the moon, we will never be able to touch it…. no matter what."

I felt her arms tightening around me, "I'm sorry." 

I gulped the lump that was in my throat, "For what exactly? Do you apologize for being dead? Or are you apologizing for making me fall in love with you like an idiot? Or are you apologizing for suddenly showing up in my life just to become an illusion? An illusion that I will never be able to live in reality anymore because of it?" I hooted with hurt. 

I was hurting… I was in pain. And I still… I'll never be myself again. I tried so hard to fall out of love with her… But I could not. How can you un love the the only person that made you happy before? Yes! She broke me into a million pieces and I will not be able to gather all of those pieces 'cause they will make me bleed again… they will open my wounds again… they will make me remember her again… they'll make me remember her when I have never forgot her and I will never forget her. 

"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being dead. I'm sorry for making you fall in love me. I'm sorry for suddenly showing up in your life and I'm sorry for hurting you, but I'm not sorry for falling in love with you." She said and her voice broke at the end. 

"How will I be able to live when you're not going to be here anymore?" I asked her and my voice was so broken just the same as my heart. 

"You will, just like how you were living without me before. I will become a memory… a sad one."

That's what people say to feel better, to believe that they could move on and forget whatever have happened to them. But the hurtful, painful, sad truth is that we won't ever move on. We will live our lives, indeed. But the wounds would always be there. No matter how many times we've tried not to look at them when we pass a mirror. 

I guess there's nothing called moving on, you just try to live without that person anymore. But your feelings would always be there somewhere in the bottom of your heart. And that's how I'm living now.