The days spent in the hospital recovering from the traumatic birth of her child are incredibly trying and overwhelming for Cora Dalton. While physically, she seems to be healing adequately, her mental well-being is an entirely different matter. Cora struggles to understand the horrific events that led to the sudden, slightly premature birth, remembering very little from that day, and is unable to receive a straight answer from either her husband or her doctor when she inquires about it. The highly mysterious and apparently dishonest behavior displayed by the two men leaves a burden weighing heavily on her chest. But more so, she has difficulty bonding with her newborn son. There's something that feels off about the baby cradled in her arms, a nagging suspicious feeling pooling within her that she can't quite decipher nor understand. Cora deflects it as quickly as possible, doing her best to overcome the fear-inducing pain that lingers in her heart as she mothers her child for their first few days together.
She had expected to feel an immediate connection with little Gideon and believed that loving him would come naturally to her; she'd always thought maternal instinct was something innately implanted within every woman. However, she can't seem to feel anything but heartache as she gazes at his tiny face, her sorrow exceedingly pressing as the time passes. Cora's heart cracks, the doubts slowly embedding between the jagged, broken shards. Amplified by the intense unfamiliarity, her panic pulses disturbingly and vividly within the fragile organ. Each convulsing beat of her heart multiplies the damage done exponentially, leaving behind a shredded mess of threads just barely holding together.
This is not what she had anticipated motherhood to be, and that realization stings like a slap in the face. Her cheeks burn with the imaginary impact, her entire body feeling the pain as it quivers through her; it couldn't affect her more if someone had physically struck her. What a mother she turned out to be.
As she suffers emotionally, Cora's mind receives the most significant impact, conjuring endless possibilities for her emotional disconnection from her baby. These thoughts are so consuming, so hideous, stemming her cacophony of wildly raging emotions and keeping her on the brink of tears or breakdown at all times. Cora can't help but hate herself for them. She absolutely despises herself for the intruding and unwarranted thoughts that haunt her and lead her to feel inadequate and unmotherly.
Perhaps she wasn't made to be a mother, after all.
Or perhaps he isn't her child.
Tenderly, Cora caresses Gideon's soft brown hair, wishing that she could feel unconditional love for him like a mother should. Her heart momentarily seizes in her chest at the sheer onslaught of pain that single thought delivers. She watches him through bleary eyes as he contentedly suckles at her breast, hoping desperately that the lacking bond between them is repairable, that it'll begin to mend as she continues to heal from the physical trauma.
Andrew doesn't seem to share in her strife, eagerly and lovingly cooing and cuddling Gideon at any given opportunity. Seeing her husband so openly attached and accepting of their baby simultaneously warms Cora's heart and increases the anxiousness dwelling within her. If she's honest, she feels a smidgen of jealousy toward their instant connection. Cora knew that motherhood would change her, only she hadn't realized it would be in such a dramatically negative way. Keeping the truth about her feelings to herself, Cora attempts to appear happy, clinging to the hope that his minor setback will soon correct itself.
Visitors are discouraged during Cora's recovery under the orders of Dr. Meyer, although several friends and family members call upon the Daltons to inquire about the new addition. Andrew intercepts most of the calls, allowing his wife the time to rest after all that she's been through. He fields their questions gladly, his voice betraying the pure elation he feels about finally starting a family while intentionally leaving out the excruciating details. Cora tries to feel similarly, and she pretends when her attempts are unsuccessful, attempting to ignore the unrelenting pain it causes her. She pours every ounce of strength and determination she can muster into the act, refusing to allow anyone to see her anguish. Her acting is exceptionally convincing to those around her, providing the hospital staff and her husband with a proper display of how an ecstatic new mother would seem.
Cora would give anything to turn that deceiving perception of her into reality.
In Cora's opinion, her release from the hospital is both a blessing and a curse. While she's pleased to return home, the pit in her stomach declines to allow her to regain some semblance of comfort. Constantly battling the demons possessing her mind, Cora cannot appease them, however hard she tries. The conflict within her is devastating, yet she strives to overcome it, forcing herself to believe that tomorrow will be brighter. Maintaining her illusion to the best of her ability, Cora bottles her true feelings, burying them deep within herself where she intends to keep them permanently.
She tries to adapt to the new reality, to return to the sense of comfort she used to get from her own home, but it's impossible; everything is different. The house itself has a distressing atmosphere, a wicked reminder of the catastrophic and agonizing events that happened within the walls not long ago. While the picture of that day remains unclear in her mind, Cora is certain that the air within the home is tinged with evilness. Added to her already depressed and tragic state of being, it spirals Cora further into the unknown.
Days turn into weeks, and the dreariness clouding Cora's soul only seems to darken as the time progresses. An unfiltered haze hovers dangerously over her, deafening the screams from within. It numbs her from the inside out, unabashedly forfeiting everything Cora ever thought she was. Slowly, she can feel the negativity taking over, slipping through the cracks of her pieced-together heart and exposing her vulnerability to the world without her consent.
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Picture Perfect
Mystery / ThrillerAndrew Dalton has always aspired to have the picture-perfect life. From his car to his job to his marriage, the man works hard to maintain the image of perfection-- but sometimes, things are not as they seem. When unexpected events occur, circumstan...
