Arranged Marriage • Joshua ✓

Arranged Marriage || 33

[ - sophia - ]

When we got back to the apartment, I immediately went straight to my room. I got onto the bed as I curled up into a ball, wrapping myself with the blanket.

Out of all people and places, why did he have to appear out of nowhere ??? Gosh my heart was jumping out of my chest when he touched my shoulder earlier. I just wanted to cry

I don't know what would've happened if Joshua wasn't around. Maybe I'd ended up pregnant with his child or something. I haven't seen him ages but he just had to appear out of nowhere to trigger my trauma. I hate this, I just do.

Nobody knows about this trauma of mine. Not even my close friends. Not even Wonwoo and Mingyu know. I definitely lost my cool in front of Joshua and I'm sure he's going to ask. Ugh... Should I just tell him on what happened ? But... Would he view me as the same...?

I am getting more stressed than I usually am. I just want to end everything at this point.

Suddenly the door to my room opened which made me flinch. At this point everything's triggering my trauma

"Sophia dear ?" Joshua called out for me

"Are you okay ?" He sat down beside me after closing the door

My heart was racing because of how scared I am. Despite I know that he's my husband, I'm not able to calm my nerves down because of how I'm starting to recall my trauma.

He took off the blankets from me slowly. I shut my eyes tightly, pretending to sleep. Something I used to do when that guy was around....

[ - joshua - ]

Oh lord, seeing her like this breaks my heart. Something bad must've happened when she was young and she's starting to recall it. Perhaps, a trauma ? I mean, it's odd of her to act this way.

I touched her shoulder, causing her to flinch

"Sophia, I know you're awake and I am genuinely worried about you" I said to her as I was patting her head softly

"Can you tell me what happened ? Why did you act that way ?" I asked and she gave me another silent treatment

"Sophia, you can tell me anything. We're married and I trust you with all of my heart. So tell me, what was bothering you ?" I asked again and this time I heard her sobbing softly.

When I heard her sobs, my heart hurts in A LOT of ways. She seemed vulnerable and scared. I feel bad. I really do.

"Do you need more time to let it all out first ?" I asked and she nodded slowly

"Come here" I picked her up and hugged her

"Let it all out. You must've bottled it up for years" I said to her as I pat her back softly

She was gripping my shirt as she was crying nonstop.

Just like that, half an hour have passed and she stopped crying. I decided to grab some water for her since she really needs that. This poor girl....

After a while passed by, she finally could breathe well after crying for half an hour.

"Sophia, I know I'm asking too much from you but, can you tell me what happened ? You seemed to be... Terrified of your own uncle" I asked her

"If you couldn't, it's alright, I understand you" I said, reassuring her

Sophia looked at me as she seemed like she was going to cry but she held it back so she could talk properly

"Do you remember when I said that I wasn't ready for anything big yet between us ?" she asked in between sniffling

"Yes, I do remember that" I replied

"So um... The reason behind it is... Um..." she inhaled before wanting to say something

"He was the reason why" said Sophia as the look in her eyes shows how devastated and scared she is. Her voice was cracking

"What do you mean by--- Oh wait..." I looked at her in disbelief but she nodded

She then proceeded to get more into detail about her traumatizing past and my heart breaks listening to it. Someone as sweet as her having to through such things in her life. I feel bad for her... I really do...

"He ruined my life... He made me traumatized... I-- I don't know what to feel I---" Sophia was going to cry again and of course I hugged her, trying my best to reassure her

"Do you... Hate me now...?" she suddenly asked which surprised me even more

"Sophia, I wouldn't hate you for something you've never asked to happen. My poor girl..." I pat her head softly

Sophia was crying.... Badly.

"Let it all out sweetie.... You don't deserve such things happening to you." I said to her as I pat her back softly

Seeing her in this vulnerable state... Is new to me... She have always been really serious and cheerful most of the time and seeing her like this... It breaks my heart.

She ended up falling asleep. Probably she's really tired and that's understandable. I laid her down on the bed as I tucked her in.

I kissed her temple before wanting to leave

"Don't leave me please..." I heard her mumble.

"I won't" I whispered back to her as I left back to my room