The Monster Inside Her

Chapter 19

Michelle's PoV

Ang sakit.

My happiness was too dependent on him. I can't figure out what will I do if he let go of me. Of all people, I expect him to stay by my side eternally. I gave him all of my firsts...all that I could give him. Then one day, I'll wake up, he doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't even gave a reason. He just shut his world and excluded me.

I want him.

Only him.

When the working hours ended, I went to his condo, again. I want to talk things out. I want to fix us. Kung ayaw niyang ayusin, ako gusto ko. I believe that it could be fix...or if not, I want to hear his good damn reason for letting go of me.

Baka kasi napagod lang siya. P'wede namang magpahinga, 'di ba?

I cried the whole night. It was just too painful. Pakiramdam ko ay hinihigop ang hangin sa katawan ko. Para akong sira ulong tahimik na umiiyak para hindi marinig nila papa.

I knocked, but no one answered. Pero hindi ako sumuko, I called him multiple times until he opened the door with a creased forehead.

Galit.

'Yun 'yung nakita ko sa mga mata niya nung nakita niya akong nakatayo na naman sa harapan ng pinto niya. It was a glare that could shatter my whole world. I never imagined that he could look at me like that.

"Ano na naman ba?" Kunot-noo niyang tanong.

"Can we talk?" I was hoping that he would say yes.

Instead of answering me he opened the door wider. Tinignan ko muna siya bago ako pumasok. A familiar scent welcomed me. I smiled sadly, this the scent that I would miss. Naging pamilyar ang amoy na ito sa akin ng ilang taon. Smelling his perfume makes me want to cry so bad. I was the one who picked it for him years ago.

"Anong pag-uusapan?" He asked, not looking in my eyes.

I bit my lip and gather all the courage that I have.

"What went wrong?" Matapang kong tanong. This time, he looked at me.

But not the same look back then...back then it was full of adoration and love. Everytime he would look at me, it would always be melting. Now, it was a look that could stab my heart. The love was gone on his eyes. I couldn't see it anymore.

"I told you..." I cut him off.

"I'm asking for the reason. Give me your reason, so I could forgive you," I implied.

I heard him uttered a curse before sitting in front of me. He once again looked at me, indisposed.

"I don't want to hurt you more," mahina 'yon pero umabot pa rin sa pandinig ko.

Hindi ako nagsalita at naghintay lang sa susunod niyang sasabihin. Pinapaniwala ang sariling handa ang puso kong tanggapin ang dahilan niya.

"I cheated..." Parang gumuho ang buong mundo ko nang sabihin niya 'yon.

My heart was broken before going here, yet it turned into ashes because of his confession. I looked at him. He was not looking into my eyes but instead, he was looking on his ring finger. I couldn't see a single emotion.

"The ring...sinadya kong iwala," he said.

Hinahanap ko ang bakas ng pagsisisi sa kaniya, pero mas lalo palang guguho ang mundo ko nang wala akong makitang pagsisisi. Kahit sa mga sinasabi man lang niya, sa tono ng boses man lang...walang bahid.

A tear escaped my eye, but I quickly wiped it. Huminga ako nang malalim.

Kaya ko 'to. Kakayanin ko.