The Monster Inside Her

Chapter 32

Andrei's PoV

When I was a kid, I wasn't afraid of anything. My heart was trained by the bullshits of my father. I couldn't care less in anything except for my mother. Of course, I was afraid of losing her. But I was still standing and waiting for the waves to hit me. Hindi ko iyon sasalagin, bagkus ay dadamahin ang agos nito at matutuwa pa kung masasaktan man.

Ni minsan hindi sumagi sa isip ko na magmamahal ako nang napakalalim hanggang hindi na ako makaahon pa...lalo na ang pagpapakatanga. Kinakain ako ng galit ko sa tuwing nagpapagago si mama. I always wonder why does she let an asshole make her feel all the wounds of the world? Was it too hard to walk away? Why won't she think of herself first and run away? Bakit siya nagtitiis?

And now, I found the answer. I was blinded by the anger I felt for my father. There's this girl who came from no where and made me believe the things I was neglecting on believing for half of my life. She made me do the things I promised myself to not do. She washed away my doubts.

She did that without even realising it. She's busy controlling her own world but ended up swaying mine. Bakit nagtitiis si mama? Simple, because she's loving. And that love is pure and true.

It's the same way as mine. The only difference was she's married with the man her heart wants. And I'm quietly loving the woman who's committed to someone, afraid in ruining their relationship.

Bakit hindi ako humanap ng iba? Bakit ako nagsasayang ng oras na maghintay kahit ilang porsyento lang naman ang posibilidad na mapasa akin siya? Dahil mahal ko siya.

I am willing to spend my time waiting for her. It isn't a waste if it's her. Para kung handa na siya o kung gusto man niya, narito pa rin ako. Pero kung hindi naman, ayos lang din. Ang mahalaga sinubukan ko.

I'd better die waiting for her than include an innocent woman in my shitty life. Kung mahihirapan ako sa pagpapakasal sa iba, alam kong doble ang sakit noon para sa babaeng pakakasalan ko. Because the man she married will never love her the same way he loves Michelle Zobellano.

I tried hard to stop what I was feeling for her. But this damn love defeated me in one move.

Hindi ko alam kailan 'to nagsimula. Gumising nalang ako na mahal ko na siya. At handa akong gawin ang lahat kahit hindi niya iyon masuklian.

It's either you give it all or nothing at all. Of course I chose the first one. I'd rather do all the foolish things for love than regret my whole life for not doing anything. Who the heck knows the future? Malay natin, maglaro ang tadhana at p'wede pala talaga kami.

Nakakatawang isipin na halos hindi ito sumasagi sa isip ko. Heto ako ngayon, hindi na makaahon sa sobrang pagkalubog sa kaniya.

That's why I can't help to meddle with her and Dean when I saw him hurting her. It was like a bomb, the anger exploded in me. Doesn't he have balls and he would hurt a lady? And for bullshit's sake, it's her soon to be wife.

I'm with Marco, we're both panicking while on our way to the hospital. Halos hindi ko na maidiretso ang isipan ko. Wala akong ibang inisip kundi ang kalagayan niya.

I'd die with her... that's for sure.

When we arrived to her room, the doctor was there. Speaking with her father. We carefully got in and immediately saw Heather with her friends sitting in a large couch.

Agad ko siyang tinitigan. Nakahiga siya at nakapikit ang mga mat, may tubo sa bibig, maputla, at lubog ang mukha na halos hindi mo na siya makilala. Hindi ko iyon napansin kahapon. I was preoccupied with the thought of her jumping in that stupid building. Malaki ang pinayat niya. Maitim na rin ang baba ng kaniyang mga mata na sa tingin ko'y tinakpan niya lang ng kolorete kahapon kaya hindi naging pansinin.