The Monster Inside Her

Chapter 24

Trigger Warning: MDD, violence.

What is MDD?

Major depressive disorder (MDD) also known simply as depression, is a mental disorder characterized by at least two weeks of pervasive low mood. Low self-esteem, lost of interest in normally enjoyable activities, low energy, and pain without a clear cause are common symptoms. (Got from Wikipedia).

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Michelle's PoV

My heart was pounding in every step I make. I walked slow and still hesitant to go to a doctor. Sa hindi malamang dahilan, gusto kong umatras at hayaan nalang ang binayad para sa check-up na ito. I sighed when I'm already in front of Dra. De Silva's door. Kakatok na sana ako ngunit mas nauna itong buksan ng isang nurse na may ngiting nakadikit sa kaniyang mukha sa oras na nakita niya ako.

"Ms. Zobellano, right?" She assured, not removing her smile.

Marahan akong tumango at iginala ang mata sa loob ng silid na pinasukan. Isang maputi at may katangkaran na doktor ang lumabas mula sa asul na kurtina. She has a very welcoming aura. Ngumiti rin ito nang makita ako.

"Hi, I'm Dra. Maria Claudia De Silva. You can call me whatever you please to call me...doc Claudia, doc Claui, doctora De Silva kahit wala pa 'yang doc! Anything! Just not Maria," she giggled and waved her hand.

Ngumiti lang ako dahil alam kong alam na niya ang pangalan ko. Nang pinagmasdan ko siya ay mas lalo kong napagtanto na napakaganda niya. Papasa siya bilang isang modelo kung sakali. Sa tuwing ngingiti ay sumasama ang kaniyang mga mata.

"Marco told me his concerns...Ah! What should I call you?" Tanong niya.

I licked my lower lip, "Michelle."

Tumango-tango naman siya at may sinulat sa isang pirasong papel. Nang matapos sa isinusulat ay bumaling siya sa akin at ngumiti muli. Hindi kaya napapagod ang panga niya sa kakangiti?

"Well then, Michelle...what are you into lately? Sports? Arts? Anything that interests you?" She questioned.

The welcoming aura in her never left. I looked at her and thought of something that interests me.

"Working out," I mumbled.

I saw her nodded, "Kaya naman pala you're so fit! Akala ko nga may model na pumasok sa clinic ko kanina," she joked.

I pursed my lips and wasn't able to give the same energy she is giving. Ang hirap pantayan ng energy niya lalo na't mukhang masayang masaya siya sa buhay niya. O baka magaling lang din siyang magtago. Mga problemang nakatago sa ngiti.

"Hmm...I noticed din na you have a tattoo? What's the meaning of it?" Kuryosong tanong niya.

I glanced at the visible tattoo on my side wrist. It's a small butterfly. I am wearing a long-sleeve blouse na nakatupi hanggang sa aking siko, kaya niya nakita ang markang nakatatak sa aking pulso.

"Ah..." I bit my lip, "beauty in all forms," I added.

"May sumisilip pang tattoo," she giggled while pointing at my tattoo on my forearms. "Okay lang ba na mag-tattoo tour ka? I want to see if there are more," she giggled once more.

Marahan akong tumango at nagsimulang hatakin ang sleeves ng aking blouse. I showed her the tattoos on my both inner forearms, me ton kairó on the right and tha anthísoume, on my left forearm. I had it when I was still a college student. I was still motivated and my dreams are in different colors. I then unbuttoned the first three buttons of my blouse to show her my unalome tattoo on the middle of my breast. I told her the meaning of each and her face screams the amusement while listening. Mouth dropped and attentive on what I am showing her.