Keeper of the Lost Cities: Rebuild [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-One - TAM

Tam woke to numbness.

He was surprised to even wake at all.

The war had scarred him. Rather, they weren't really scars; more wounds, clawing into his mind, splitting it open, invading his dreams and composing nightmares. Every night he would wake, still screaming. Every day, his throat would be too raw to eat. He could barely drink.

That was when the shadows came.

Hesitant, at first, testing him out. When he let them in, they surrounded him. Captured him.

They were worse than Gisela's cuffs.

Because this time he knew: he was imprisoning himself. After all, if he was no longer in control, he wouldn't have to watch everyone's worried eyes as he withered.

Since then, he hadn't had a dream again. The shadows pulled him under so deeply sometimes he worried they wouldn't let him resurface.

But they did, he told himself, pushing the darkness aside so he could see the golden canopy of his bed. Forget about it.

He swung his legs over the side of the mattress and saw his boots. The black was clouding his vision—more than normal—so he felt for his clothing. And, as expected, he was still wearing his jacket and pants.

He must have fallen asleep in his clothes again. That... was actually regular nowadays. The shadowflux would drag him under, and he'd collapse—or, he assumed he did; he never remembered the moments before sleep.

If you could even call it sleep.

A semblance of frustration broke through the cold nothing of his emotions, and he tried pushing the shadows back so he could see. He just wanted the light...

But it... was... too... strong.

He fell onto his back with a gasp. Sweat slid down his skin from the effort. He just... didn't.

Didn't care.

Didn't move.

Didn't want to.

Today was the meeting with Queen Hylda—the day they attempted to convince the goblin leader to aid them in the Human Reinstatement effort. Without the goblins' support, the elves were lost. And with the Purities rising, the humans were vulnerable; having forces in the Neutral Territories could help.

Part of him felt sick to think about it. He didn't know why. He wasn't nervous. But there was something about this meeting—something about this whole mission—that was slowly unraveling him.

You have to do this, Tam.

You have to help your friends.

You have to help the humans.

And what about Linh? She would be disappointed in you. For being so weak.

Tam didn't know who was talking—his subconscious or the shadows.

Were they doubts?

Or was there truth in the thoughts?

It was just so hard to move sometimes.

He worried it was his ability, slowly surrounding his body—clouding his vision so that when they started to choke him, he couldn't fight back.

Was this what it felt like to be Linh? To be Marella? Fighting a force for control, every. Second. Of every. Day?

He raised his hands above his chest and pushed against the shadows that bound him there. I control you, he thought, knowing the statement was a lie. The shadows knew it too, for they, laughing, retreated. Giving him a taste of the freedom he had sacrificed.