29: a doctor finally

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Dear D,

Finally,  I was brought to a doctor!

We had to travel about 2 hours to another city.

The first time I went to a psychiatrist, I was confused why I was there.

I remember I was really hysterical. In my mind,  I need to find Buddha like that, I am a hero in my mind.

I remember I was given a bond paper and I just wrote their my thoughts... about my life and like that.

I could remember as I talked to the psychologist alone, tears welled up in her eyes.

She referred me to a psychiatrist.

I remember at first, I really don't want to take the antidepressant and antipsychotic pills because in my head, I have no illness.

Love,

C

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