A secret lovestory (blindchannel/ joelhokka)

What do i want?

I was so confused that I had to smoke one cigarette first. A few seconds later I saw Joonas coming outside who also wanted to smoke one cigarette. He was confused to see me because I didn't smoke often. He asked if I was fine but no word came out of my mouth. I didn't know if I was good. I didn't know if I was fine I had no idea how I feel in the moment. When he noticed that I would not answer he tried to amused me because he knew that something in my life is stressful right now. He said that he would register us at the umm competition. I was confused I never heard about that. He said it's a pre–competition for the esc. I smiled because if we were accepted and won we would perform at the esc live for millions of people. This would be amazing. When we finished smoking, Joonas asked if we should go back inside but one thing was certain for me and that was that I want to go home so I said to him no I would rather get a taxi and catch up some sleep. He called me a taxi and as it arrive 10 minutes said I goodbye to him.

When I got home I couldn't sleep because I was so upset. I want to talk to someone about the kiss and at the same time I didn't want to talk about it. Totally frustrated, I opened a bottle of champagne.

I've never been so drunk but suddenly the doorbell rang. I opened the door and Joel stood in front of me with a bottle of beer in his hand it was probably his fourth or fifth bottle, without hesitation he put the bottle down and start kissing me and I kissed him back the only thing I knew was that I want him.