Forelsket, Choi Yeonjun

ilybyd

"baby, even if it pains,
my name's not what your heart paints.
so i'll just take it in,
accepting that you won't ever let me in."

---

Dear Xavion,

Hi, Xav. How are you? I hope you're doing well and happy with her. I'm not in the right mind to write earlier, so i'm writing now. It's currently 12 midnight and i'm still thinking of you.

You may have hurt me, Xav, but I'll never forget how you fixed me. How you saved me, how you picked me up, how you made me happy, how my life was full of rainbows because of you.

My friends outside our school told me that you're not worth my love and tears, but for me.. you are.

Other than my father, You're the first man that i loved, Xav.

You're the first man that made me feel this way.

You're the first man that had been my rest, and will always be.

Even if what you did hurt me so much, i still chose to understand you. Because loving means understanding, Xav. Understanding both sides and all reasons.

And because i know that you didn't want to hurt me this way. You just loved.

You're just following what your heart beats, and even if it pains me to admit it, I'm not what your heart beats and sings.

It's Hannah, it was always her, and is still her.

I know that what you were showing me when we were together isn't fake and that it's all genuine, so i have no bad feelings for you.

I understand.

Also, sorry if I'm avoiding you and if i'm acting as if you're a ghost or a stranger to me. Please understand me as it's one of the things that can help me move on from you.

Distancing myself.

I'm sorry that if in those months that we spent together, i'm not the best girl that you can have, I'm not that type of girl that you can brag about with your friends.

I'm just someone who's always jealous of other girls, someone who's parents are strict af, someone who's not your ideal woman.

But promise, even if I'm not all of those someone, i loved you.

I loved you, and i am still loving you.

I love you, but you don't.

ILYBYD

- Loving, Celestia
i love you, always.