FLAWLESS - J. MAYBANK

xxi. letters

My lovely JJ,

Yeah, if you're reading this, it's because either you found it or I told you to. Given how I've been feeling as of late, I'm willing to assume the first. Sarah always told me I had pretty good instincts. Hence why I wrote this. I didn't tell you I thought I was going to die because it would sound ridiculous. You'd never say as much, but you'd totally think it. I know you would. That's fine, J. If you said it to me, I'd probably do the same.

We found Cassiopeia today! One of the things that sucks most is only having found her today, because I'd like nothing more than to spend more time with the both of you. Especially you. I only just married you. I wish we had more time together.

Please don't let yourself fall apart. I doubt my family will take you seriously if you tell them we got married, but Wheezie would believe you no matter what you said. You could tell her I was a space alien and she'd take your word for it. Try your best to be there for her. Talking to her might help. Lean on Kie and Pope if you're worried. Tell them about us being husband and wife. They'll get a kick out of it.

My dad is going to go at least a little crazy, so maybe don't start anything if you can help it. However, if he tries to blame you for anything, I give you full permission from beyond the grave to deck the shit out of him. Maybe just do it anyway. He deserves it. Rafe too. But please try your best to not. I don't want a fight at my funeral or anything.

Look, this is a bit weird to ask, but please make sure they let you in on planning at least a little. Wheezie'll be your voice of reason if they won't listen. I want to be buried in my Midsummers dress, with my hair natural and only mascara. Tell them I want mom's necklace and my wedding ring on; they'll understand at least the first. Even show them this letter if they don't believe you. That might get them riled up, but who gives a fuck. They can invite whatever kooks they want, but you have to make sure the Heywards and Carreras are there too. I want them to be. And tuck Cassie into one of your pockets or something. I want her there.

You have no idea how hard it is to imagine my life without you, JJ Maybank. If only we'd met earlier, and all this mess hadn't happened. We could've gone out like normal people and gotten to know each other on dates instead of only seeing each other to help out. There would've been fights and makeups and someday, when it was actually legal, a big wedding where we'd have a flower girl and ring bearer and everything. And kids. Oh, God, kids. I really regret not staying around long enough to have children with you. I know you'd probably be quite hesitant about having them, mostly because of your own parentage, but I can imagine you with our kids and it makes me smile. You'd be a way better father than you think.

You don't have to take my word for anything said in here. But know that I hate myself for not hanging around, even though it clearly wasn't my choice. I want more than anything to spend the rest of my life with you, JJ. 'Till death do us part. Also, that quote in your ring? It's exactly right. Take a peek if you didn't notice yet.

I LOVE YOU, JJ MAYBANK. ALWAYS, FOREVER.

All my love (and kisses and hugs),

Maelynn Jane Maybank
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

ミ⛧ ミ⛧ ミ⛧

JJ took a deep breath. He stood outside of the Cameron's house, a day before Maelynn's funeral. He had received and invitation, which surprised him. Ward had made it clear what he thought of his daughter dating a Maybank. Karma's a bitch - she married one too.

He raised his hand to knock, but before his hand could even move, Wheezie opened the door. 'JJ?'

'Hey, Wheezie.'