What Could've Been Us l EDITING

twenty two

C H A N T E L L E

It's been a week. It is now Saturday night, and I was getting ready. Mattias was supposed to be picking me up in less than an hour.

I may have been avoiding him since we kissed. Yes, that is a bad idea, but I can't help it. I can't stop running away. It seemed like the easiest option, the easy way out.

Fuck, I loved the way his lips were against mine. They tasted like vanilla and mangos. A bit odd, still tasty.

The moment replays in my head, over and over. Our tongues clashing, my hand gripped in his hair. It all feels like a movie. Almost as if someone keeps on hitting play.

Do I regret kissing Mattias? Yes.

Would I do it again? Also yes.

I wonder what changed. His whole demeanour shifted within a week. He has started to act more touchy and affectionate. I can't forget the little pet names he throws from time to time. They always make my stomach bolt. He shouldn't have such an effect on me, but he does.

I want to talk about this thing going on between us. What if he was just doing it as a dare? Like in that one movie After.

I think I would off myself if someone asked me out just because of a dare.

Really hoping that isn't the case with Mattias and me, I. Or else I'll cry.

Speaking of the devil, I hear someone knock on the door. I take a quick glance at myself in the mirror, before running to open the door.

See what I mean? I usually walk to answer the door, but this man has me running.

"Hi," I say, shyly. He smiles and plants a kiss on my cheek.

"Hey, you ready to go?" I nod. He grabs my hand and we walk out.

I fidget with my rings, my nerves are getting the best of me. The ball is going to be filled with snobby, entitled rich people who judge your every move.

I don't know how Mattias does it. He's probably been to a thousand events like these. I would probably rip my hair out if I had to.

My dress is so fucking long. I have to hold it up when I walk. And it looks like a wedding dress too. By the way that Matt and I are dressed, you'd think we were getting married.

An old lady walks past us and says, "You two are adorable!"

"Thank you!" Mattias responds quickly. I give him a look, and he returns me a smug smile.

I hate him.

We pass Mindy, the receptionist, and her eyes widen at my outfit. I wave at her, but her gaze is still stuck on my dress.

"Come on, let's go." Matt tugs on my arm and I roll my eyes. Impatient bitch.

The breezy air brushes my face as I take a deep breath. My hair is flowing in every direction, I don't bother to fix it, though. I probably look like a madwoman right now.

Sudden panic arises on Mattias's face. He's searching his pockets frantically. His face has gone pale and his eyes are large like plates.

I've seen this exact situation too many times.

"You're looking for a lighter, aren't you?" My voice cracks. I look down at the pavement, not wanting to make eye contact.

"How did you know?" His expressions have gone soft, and he's now looking at with tenderness.

"Lucky guess." I know he doesn't believe me. Mattias slowly nods before intertwining our fingers again.

An awkward silence falls between us as we just stand outside.