FIX ME - Paul Lahote Story

Chapter 3

"Cait! Caitlyn!" Yelled four voices, but I was too busy trying to block everything out to acknowledge whoever was looking for me.

I didn't want anyone bothering me. I just wanted to be alone for a bit longer, but of course I wouldn't get that.

"Oh dear God! Caitlyn!" Came the voice of Paul as he dropped onto the sand in front of me, his arms circling around me and pulling me into a tight embrace.

I looked up at his face and noticed how panicked he looked. Maybe I should have told him I wouldn't be in school. Maybe then he wouldn't have gotten so worried . . .

"Do you know how worried we were? We've been looking every- have you been crying?" Paul rambled as he pulled back. His eyebrows were scrunched together and the corners of his lips were pulled down just slightly in a look reminiscent of a sad puppy.

The boys were all sat around me, looking frantic and concerned.

How could I tell them that my brother now hated me? That he -just like my parents- wanted nothing to do with me?

I couldn't even hate him for what he said, because at the end of the day he was still my brother and I loved him. He was my twin after all.

Why didn't I hate him? Even after what he said to me?

"Cait, tell me what happened," Paul whispered worriedly, his hands cupping my cheeks, as his thumbs wiped away the tears I didn't even realise had returned.

The mere thought that my own brother could no longer tolerate my existence is enough to make me want to crawl into a hole and die! Jared's the only family I have. But now even he wants nothing to do with me . . . Sure I have Jake and Billy but they're not my direct family. The one person that is, wants nothing to do with me . . .

"Do you guys think I'm annoying?" I whispered, looking up at Paul.

My gaze locked with his and his eyes widened, he obviously saw the hurt in my eyes, because his soon softened further, showing sympathy and disbelief.

"What? Of course not," they quickly answered, their tone surprised and confused.

"Am I irritating?" I whispered again.

"No. Why would you-"

"Am I clingy?" I whispered interrupting them.

"No," they all answered immediately, looking at me as if I was ridiculous to even think that.

"Am I needy?" I muttered, only just noticing how blurry my vision was and how wet my cheeks were getting.

The waterworks had started when Paul asked me if I had been crying, I hadn't even noticed how the tears just spilled faster and thicker the longer I thought about what Jared had said, my mind relaying it alongside the memories of my parents.

"Do you all hate me too?" I choked, my mind replaying the moment the words rolled out of Jared's mouth.

"No!" They all yelled back in unison. Their eyes wide in surprise, and their faces twisted in anger, concern and confusion.

"Cait, why-"

"Then why did he say that?!" I retorted, unable to hold back the frustration I was feeling.

Paul wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close, tucking my head into his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Caitlyn, who said that to you?" He whispered, body tense but voice gentle.

I pulled back and looked up into his beautiful brown eyes, they were glistening with unshed tears, that spark of happiness they always held was gone, and instead replaced by a burning hatred.