FIX ME - Paul Lahote Story

Chapter 23

(Apologise is a fitting song don't cha think? *insert creepy smirky face here*)

After what happened with Edward, I left as soon as I could, I couldn't risk the others getting suspicious and forcing the other truth out of me. It was bad enough that Edward even knew, I didn't even want to think what would happen if anyone else found out what I'd done to my arm . . .

The house was surprisingly empty when I arrived, though I chose not to dwell on that and rather enjoyed the silence and seclusion even if it was short lived.

I quickly changed into a black long sleeved shirt and pulled a pair of grey sweatpants on, feeling a lot more comfortable in those than what I had on earlier.

I was sat on my window seat with my sketchbook and a pencil in my hands, not even knowing what I was going to draw. I didn't care though, I was actually in the mood to be creative and I wasn't about to let myself slip out of the little bubble I go into every time I pull out my sketchbook or when I write.

I have peace here in my personal bubble, I can tune out the whole world and focus solely on my art and right now I need that more than anything.

I managed to draw quite a flattering portrait of Paul, not to seem conceited in any way but I knew it was a good drawing. I could appreciate when I'd done something well.

I am a perfectionist, there's no doubt about that but of course there are times when I am genuinely happy with something I've done. It's not conceited, at least not in my mind.

The drawing was beautiful though. It was of Paul with his ever so attractive smirk on his perfect lips, eyebrows raised in amusement and mischief sparkling in his beautiful eyes. His jawline was prominent and there was no hint of facial hair, just the way I liked him. His stubble usually scratched and irritated my skin when we used to cuddle or when he'd kiss my cheek so I didn't like it, regardless of how hot he looked with it.

I couldn't help but sigh aloud, thinking about the past was only succeeding in bringing me down. I keep forgetting that Paul and I are not like that anymore, we're not best friends- heck we can barely be considered acquaintances! I have to remember that although we were once extremely close, now we are about as close as strangers (a/n: my 5SOS fangirl is showing I know :p hehe)

I know I should forget how we used to be, I know I'm basically just asking to get hurt but it's almost impossible to forget about the happiest moments of my life. Sure; things aren't like that anymore but at one point, that had been my life and I'd enjoyed it. If anyone knew what I was thinking, they'd most likely call me stupid for caring about the guys after all that's happened but I mean Edward isn't here so I guess I shouldn't worry about that.

Ok let's not think about all that. I need to talk to Seth and Leah, ask them if they want to hang out after school tomorrow.

I'm not planning to miss another school day, I only have the rest of this week and then the whole of next week before it's all over. I can't afford to miss my last few exams because of those idiots. I have my history and English exams left, and I want to at least get a passing grade.

As much as the idea sickens me, I have to go and make some food for those morons. It's not like they're holding a gun to my head and forcing me to cook them dinner but I mean I still have to keep them sweet. I don't ever want to antagonise any werewolves after seeing Jared flip out at me today. That was terrifying.

I put my book and pencils away into my bedside drawer, leaving my phone to charge while I quietly stepped out of my room and peered over the banister. It didn't seem like anyone was there so I quickly rushed down the stairs and into the kitchen, mentally listing all the foods I could choose from.