FIX ME - Paul Lahote Story

Chapter 15

I've been completely avoiding the guys for the past couple of days. It's only been a few days but I haven't once left my room . . . I've barely even gone downstairs for food and I ignore Jared every time he knocks on my door, calling me down to eat.

It's not like I'm trying to be like this but honestly I can't help it. I've been so distracted that all I'm doing is staring out of my bedroom window and subconsciously scribbling down some rough sketches of pretty much everything. I don't even realise I'm doing it but somehow I end up with a couple of really depressing drawings every day. Good thing it's only been about 2 days that I've been like this. 2 and a half if you count today . . .

*Knock knock*

Once again I ignored the knock already knowing who it was and why they were knocking.

The boys have been trying to make me eat by getting me all my favourite foods in a bid to entice me out of this hole I'm mentally buried in. Safe to say their attempts have been utterly futile. How do they expect me to just get over the shock of what happened on Thursday? So quickly too? I mean it's only Saturday yet. That is not enough time to get over the heartache of your love telling you to die and then actually almost dying too. They just don't understand. And quite frankly I don't understand why they're even trying . . .

"Cait"

I instantly snapped my head towards the door as Jared's voice filled my ears, mentally groaning at the realisation that I had forgotten to lock my bedroom door.

"What?" I whispered awkwardly, not the slightest bit comfortable with his presence.

The irony. I used to love hanging out with him and now I can barely sit in the same room as him without feeling suffocated.

Maybe I am over reacting. But in my circumstances I think it's allowed. Sure it isn't the end of the world but to me it is! Because they were my world, though that is something they no longer want to be a part of and honestly I don't blame them. I'm no joy to-am I seriously doubting myself because of them? Oh my God-

"Cait!" Jared yelled, snapping his fingers in front of my face causing me to narrow my eyes at him.

The close proximity was making me anxious and unfortunately quite scared . . .

"Will you come and eat today?" He asked hopefully, his shoulders tense as he looked at me nervously.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his behaviour.

It's as if he's forgotten everything that's happened! How can he be ok with this? How can he pretend that he's my caring older brother again when in fact he's probably only doing this for the same reason as every other -considerably- nice thing he and the boys have done for me since that first incident . . . so uncle Billy doesn't get mad at them . . .

"No" I scoffed, turning my eyes to the window and staring at the woods across from the house.

I heard a loud sigh and footsteps before everything was silent again.

Well not for long unfortunately because only 5 minutes later, someone else showed up . . .

"Caity?"

I sighed loudly in exasperation, having had enough of the boys and their stupid games!

What makes Jared think that Paul can do what he hasn't been able to? I mean before, maybe, but not now!

Jared has always known I like Paul and he almost always used him as blackmail in order to get me to do something, heck sometimes he even got Paul to come and do it because he knew I wouldn't stay mad at him! But everything's different now!