The Redemption Arc (A BBC's Merlin Fanfiction)

Chapter 15

No. No. Not this again. Merlin felt his head spin. Mordred turned to look directly at him, and Merlin stood his ground, glaring. Something in Mordred's eyes changed, and he looked at Merlin with newfound curiosity. 

"Mordred." She had said it so softly that Merlin wondered how he had ever managed to hear it. But he had heard, and so had everyone else in the silence of the hall. Morgana walked forward, her pale golden gown shimmering as she walked as though she was leaving behind a trail of pixie dust. She stopped to face Mordred, and she was standing only a little to the left in front of Arthur himself. She looked to her right, and Arthur nodded, giving her permission to speak. 

Then it started. A fear bubbling in Merlin's heart, slowly rising to the top, all while crushing him. He grabbed the end of his shirt and clenched it in his fist to stop the pain. And what a pain it was. It was something like a needle stabbing him over and over in his chest, and he felt an overwhelming love for Mordred in him, and fear for what the young man was capable of. When he thought the blinding pain had subsided and he could see again, he looked over at Morgana in concern. Oh, Morgana, he thought. 

But she was standing upright. The dark waves of her hair had been pinned up, and he could see all of her face. If one didn't look into the stormy greys of her eyes, one would have missed the emotional turmoil that threatened to take her apart right then and there. But she was standing nonetheless. 

"The last time I saw you, Morgana, I would never have thought that next time I would see you facing me would be against me, with our foes." Mordred said softly. Merlin hated him with every fibre of his being, but in that moment he could not bring himself to. He had lost Morgana himself to another side, and despite everything between them then, all he really wanted the whole time she had been gone was to get her back. He understood Mordred in that moment. But now him being here had shattered that glass shield of hope they had all encased themselves in. 

Perhaps that's what Merlin truly hated Mordred for.

Mordred took a step closer and took Morgana's hands in his. "Come back. Come with me. Come home."

Nope, he definitely hated Mordred for more reasons than that. This kid was crossing a line. 

Morgana took her hands out and took Mordred's in hers, and Merlin watched, rapt. Just as the rest of the crowd was. He knew what all of them were thinking. That they couldn't trust her. That she was going to turn her back on them again. That they couldn't believe how foolish they had been in taking her in and letting her walk among them like she belonged. 

"Mordred," she said, and as Merlin watched Mordred's face change color he felt hope renew itself in him. "My dear Mordred. I cannot."

"Because of him?" Mordred pointed to Arthur, and there was a sharp clang of metal as a hundred swords were drawn by the knights. Merlin and Arthur both turned to Leon, who nodded at each of them in turn and raised his hand. There was another noise, a little defeated this time, as swords were returned to scabbards. 

Morgana opened her mouth to reply, but Mordred carried on. "Or her?" He pointed at Gwen, and Morgana closed her mouth, watching helplessly. 

"Or him." He pointed at Merlin with a certain finality. Morgana smiled sadly. 

"Yes."

Merlin looked at her, his heart beating fast in his chest, praying that this one emotion doesn't carry over to her. 

"It is because of Arthur. And Gwen. And Merlin. And Sir Gwaine and Sir Leon and Sir Lancelot. And hundreds of people I didn't mean to hurt, but I did, anyway. And hundreds of people who died because I couldn't see clearly. And because of Morgause, my dear sister who wanted nothing more than to give me what I wanted and I lost, because I didn't know what I wanted and I chased a dream that wasn't mine to begin with." She stepped closer, and placed a soft hand on Mordred's cheek. "It is because of you, too. It is because I had forgotten what love was when I was consumed by hatred, and the very presence of you perhaps reminded me what it was when I was slipping away. Because I had seen what you had to go through, and how my ways were not helping you or others like you. Like me. Because I only want you to be safe and--and happy. And free. I am here because of you."

"I was wrong, Morgana. I know I told you that the war was perhaps not the way. But when we lost Morgause--when we lost her, I knew. I knew this was it. I do not believe in shedding the blood of innocents, but I truly understand now. If we do not do what is necessary now, we will watch the bloodshed of many more later."

"No," she whispered. "You're not listening to me--"

"You're not listening to me!" Mordred yelled, and Morgana flinched. "I see that they have changed your mind. Nothing I say will help you. So I will not say anymore, but let my actions rescue you from yourself."

He turned to Arthur, to the crowd. "The night that the three gods align, every one of us who have suffered under the yoke of tyranny will rise and claim what is our birthright: our freedom. And that night will bring with it a new dawn. A new day when every single person--wizard, or witch, or not--will rise without shackles on their wrist. And if I need to give my life up for this, I will."

Arthur finally spoke, and when he did, Merlin thought he spoke like a king. He wasn't just the Arthur he or Gwen or Morgana knew. This was the Arthur the people knew and the people needed right now. A king of his people. "I have amused you before, Sir Mordred. And I went to war before. I do not wish to see innocents shed their blood again. I will not go to war again."

"Then you will die."

There was an even louder clang as swords were drawn again. This time neither Arthur nor Merlin made any motion to stop them. Awaiting Arthur's orders, the knights waited, their eyes on their king. 

"I will, Sir Mordred, before I surrender to the likes of you."

***

I've been terrible with updating, I know. I am so sorry!

I hope you forgive me.

Happy reading!

Monarch.