The Redemption Arc (A BBC's Merlin Fanfiction)

Chapter 25

"I enjoy this," Gwen said suddenly. 

Morgana looked up, and blinked. Gwen was surrounded by mountains of paperwork, just as she was, and she had to meet several people today. "Which part, exactly?" she asked, hearing the skepticism in her own voice loud and clear. 

Gwen breathed a laugh. "Well, this. But not the work exactly. All of these official duties are precisely what scared me during the preparations. But I enjoy getting them done. I enjoy being good at it." She covered her face with her hands in horror. "That came out way more arrogantly than I meant." 

"I think you can behead anyone if they try to point it out," Morgana offered. Gwen's face told her it didn't help as much as she thought it might. 

"We could take a walk," she tried again. 

Gwen looked at the overflowing table hesitantly, then looked over at Morgana and nodded, smiling. 

*** 

Morgana had been right. The wedding was exactly what the kingdom needed at this time. As she and Gwen took a walk through the castle and the upper town, followed closely by guards, there was a mixture of fear, apprehension and some respect on seeing her. But it was not the same as before. Surprisingly enough, after she took charge of the restoration of the old Temple, there were some people who actually brought their children to her. 

To her utter disbelief, the parents helped her and the other workers build a little shed by the construction so she could start teaching young children magic before the Temple was even constructed. Some parents stood a little afar off, listening intently to what she said, watching her every move. But every week, the number of parents who guarded the children decreased, and the number of her students increased. She had severely underestimated Arthur's influence, and overestimated her own. That the King and Queen trusted her enough was a great symbol, and people were willing to take a chance. Her own mistakes were unforgivable, but they were forgettable in the face of a great danger. 

And it was right in the nick of time. There were so many children and young people in the kingdom who possessed some degree of magic. Had the law not been passed, the parents might not have realized at first. The children may have been hidden away, traumatized, isolated. There could have been a mass emigration, that would always take place in every generation no matter how prosperous Camelot was. 

While her own spirits were lifted by seeing a much better response than she had expected, Gwen's were at an all-high. She had feared that as Arthur's fiancée she would be a source of great pride for the common people, but as Queen she would cease to be one of them. That her roots would be forgotten. It was a well-founded fear, but nearly two months into their reign, the people showed no sign of either forgetting her humble beginnings or her great power. 

Arthur and Gwen took great pains to focus equally on building the army for the war and on securing the safety and welfare of people once the war started. 

In an incredible twist of fate, Gaius, Merlin and she were entrusted the charge of training soldiers who either had magic or wanted to learn separately. Although Camelot had won the last war, even the soldiers knew that they would be unable to go up against them solely using their weapons and manpower. It was Morgause's death that secured their victory. 

This time, they were going to fight fire with fire. 

She even suspected that this charge given to her was what encouraged parents to send their children to her.

As Gwen and Morgana were returning, she looked over at the masses of groups training, and saw one lone figure decked in training gear running away from the groups and towards Arthur, who stood, waiting. Merlin! She hadn't seen him all these days, hidden away among the army. He was a sorcerer, not a soldier. 

Instinctively, she grabbed Gwen's arm. "Did you know Merlin joined the army?" she whispered. She didn't know why she was whispering. It felt like a huge secret. 

Gwen looked at their linked arms, and in that one unthinking gesture she felt at home again. She had missed the intimacy and friendship she had once shared with Morgana. "I did, actually," she answered, smiling. "Arthur didn't take to his request very well, giving him several excuses as to why he could not join. He hadn't been trained at a younger age, there wasn't enough time to get him acquainted with even the basics," she broke off with a soft laugh. "You know how those two are. Merlin didn't even realize Arthur was trying to shelter him. He argued for about a week till he was granted permission." 

Morgana smiled with pride, which she let fade away as she caught Gwen cocking an eyebrow at her. 

"Do you, perhaps, like Merlin?" Gwen asked softly. 

Morgana felt her heart racing at just his name, and a warmth settled over her body. Her tongue was torn, she wanted to deny it, and she wanted to let the weight of admitting that she did blanket her. She had been alone for so long, even Morgause had never realized she and Merlin shared a rather special albeit twisted relationship. He was untying the knots, however, he wanted to do everything right by her. She felt it in her heart. She wanted to give herself over to him and let him carry her after all this time that she had been standing tall. She knew she would carry him in turn. 

But as Gwen stood there expectantly, she could not deny the honest intimacy they once shared, so she nodded softly, proudly. 

"I think I do," she told Gwen. 

"That's wonderful," Gwen gushed. She struggled to walk with the airs of a Queen, undoubtedly thrilled within her heart. 

Morgana felt she might cry. It made no sense to her. She knew her relationship with Gwen was mending fast, but her happiness for her sake fueled the fire of longingness for a real friend and unconditional love that was true of family within her. It burned her throat and she blinked to push away tears. 

They didn't speak about Merlin, or even Arthur. She realized Gwen was giving her space. Standing at the end of a long hallway with open arms, inviting her to come back anytime she wanted with a promise that she would always wait. 

It made her feel unbelievably blessed. She realized with a pang that her resentments were unfounded. She had felt as if her family had always abandoned her, that everyone she loved ultimately left her. But she was wrong. 

Her circumstances had been difficult but she was always blessed with a family that cared. Sir Gorlois, Uther, Arthur, Gwen, Morgause. Mordred. Merlin. 

At that last name, her heart skipped a beat. She looked over at the training field where she easily spotted his raven head among the masses of soldiers. 

She hadn't thought about it at all, she hadn't believed she could have her old life back. But here it was, and it was somehow better. She remembered how Merlin kissed her. How she felt warm in the cool night while he held her. How the darkness of the night battled with the light of the stars. 

She had fallen in love, and whether she could have her love or not, she was grateful. Grateful. 

*** 

This chapter took far too long without enough scenes, I know. I'm sorry. 

I tested positive for COVID, plus there's a lot of work to do for college, I'll try to do better. Please let me know what you think! 

Ooh also if you all have any recommendations for song instrumentals I can add to the chapters please dm me or leave it in the comments. 

Happy reading!

Monarch.