Living Without Dreams

Chapter 36 - Balance and Timing

"I think we accomplished quite a lot this past week, even though today is only Monday," Susan remarked as Greg drove their car across Silicon Valley late in the afternoon, headed towards the Santa Cruz Mountains and the coast. It was to be the first leg of their trip home and the first of two overnight stops along the way.

"I do too. I know we still wanted to take some time on our way back to talk about our future, but I believe after today, we are in very good shape to begin doing that," Greg said.

"You do? Better than yesterday?" Susan asked curiously.

"I do. Do you realize, with the amount of your paycheck and the regular income from my account which Denis can now set due to the contracts Alex has arranged and is working on, once we know the amount I will begin receiving from that in January, we will be able to set ourselves a budget?" Greg said. "We now have a baseline for our income and should know within two weeks what our joint income will be and what we can afford from that point forward. And with every day that passes, we're getting a better and better idea of what we need."

"How do you mean, what we need?" Susan asked.

"The kind of environment that would provide us not only shelter, a place to sleep, cook, live, and entertain, but also which would nurture and support us. Of all the places we've lived, that's one thing I noticed that the cave we lived in did extremely well; that is to support us," Greg said.

Susan looked at him in confusion. "If you mean it put a solid roof over our heads in the middle of the rainy season, I would agree. And it did leak less than the hut we had in Baja's Village, so I suppose you could make the argument that it did most of those things, but I don't understand Greg. Why in planning for the future would you be thinking about our cave?"

"Because during the first two months we first lived there ... before we were aware of the danger posed by the terrorists who, unknown to us sometimes shared our island ... the cave became a spiritually nurturing and supportive environment. It was set in a peaceful and beautiful place. We had our ledge which gave us a panoramic view of the sea. We had our pool for bathing and swimming in, and we had the whole of our protected, private beach to serve as our garden for long walks and private meditation. As a place of comfort, I agree it was lacking, but it did have that. I keep thinking there must be a way to combine those features into a structure which would serve that purpose equally well. I think the church you took me to visit suggests a way to do that."

"My church does?" Susan asked looking puzzled.

"Yes. It suggests a means to build a modern, local habitat which would provide for us those benefits which are similar in nature to those we knew with our cave," Greg mused.

"A habitat? I thought we were talking about buying a house," Susan said. "A habitat sounds like something you might find in a zoo."

"Only because in a zoo, the keepers use the term 'habitat' to describe an environment in which the creatures in their care can not only live, but thrive. What I intend for us would be very similar in that I also intend to provide our family with a place where we can thrive. And yes, for us, there would be a house as part of that," Greg assured her when he took in Susan's doubtful expression. "I do believe at our income level, we may be able to afford something more than a minimal tract house. This is one of the reasons I would like you to visit mine and Maddie's former home. One of the things my level of success allowed me to do was to create for us in the middle of Los Angeles, a space that was not only our home, but our retreat, and our respite from both the stresses of life and the everyday."

"How did you do that?" Susan asked warily, her mind full of curiosity and concern as the coastal mountains separating the San Francisco Bay from the Pacific coast grew closer.