ASSUMPTIONS [H.S.]

chapter 14

Harry Styles

Peace;
by definition it's freedom from disturbance; tranquillity.

That's all I want — peace.

Peace;
a valuable people take for granted.

Peace;
something I'll never get to experience whilst being in the spotlight.

Peace;
something a bottle of whiskey I'm emptying at this very moment can't even offer.

Peace;
a state I'm currently interrupting by banging on people's doors and trying to figure out which apartment is Amber's.

Don't blame me —
I couldn't sleep.

Right after the show in New York, we got into a plane back to Los Angeles, and I didn't miss the opportunity to enjoy the bar's bonuses by washing down the disappointing feeling of my performance with whiskey.

I'm a fucking mess.

Even though the disturbing images of my performance kept playing in the depths of my sanity, I couldn't get my mind off the fact Amber's been quite distant lately. Not that we're close or anything, it's just weird how we went from joking to avoiding in an instant. As her friend, it is my duty to understand what's wrong, right?

When I was in my dressing room after the disastrous show, I thought she was going to give me a pitiful look and try to tell me a bunch of bullshit about how great the performance was — just like everybody else before her did.

I hate when people lie to me like that.

Instead, I was greeted with the most understanding look, which surprisingly made me feel somewhat okay, though it got washed away when we set foot back in LA.

After the plane landed, I went home trying to doze off, but the thought of her avoidance couldn't stop me from tossing and turning. Maybe it's the jetlag. Or maybe actually I did something to upset her?

So here I am, a few hours after our flight, trying to get the answers haunting me inside the flat complex I walked her home to after the party we met for the second time.

Now, the tricky part is figuring out the number of her apartment. Shouldn't be hard, right?

I inhale a deep breath, and finally decide to gently knock on a random door. A few seconds which feel like an eternity pass by, as I'm being met with utter silence.

Well, I'm off to a good start.

I finally move on to the next one, banging heavier than I did on the last door. After impatiently tapping my foot on the complex's grey tiles, I find the doorbell button and hold it for longer than necessary, in case they didn't hear me.

Silence.

Why is nobody answering the door?

I let out a huge sigh, and contemplate whether or not it's worth the hassle. Should I just quit?

This is really testing my patience.

I take 2 or 3 steps back to exit the building, but turn back when I notice a staircase steeping for a few stories. I annoyingly click my tongue in the back of my mouth, currently having a mental debate if I should give it a chance.

After a few moments of me standing next to the railing like an idiot, I make a pact with myself to try one more door. If they don't answer, I leave. As simple as that.

I move a staircase higher and start with ringing the doorbell this time.

Silence.

I determinedly attach my knuckles onto the wooden door a bit louder multiple times, but get met with absolute silence.