(Dys)functional [BoyxBoy]

✎ Chapter 20 ✎

(Dys)functional
Chapter 20

✎
Toby

I pace around the house, petting Marshmallow as I go over my checklist for the twentieth time today.

What if I'm not good enough? Maybe I should do my hair again. My makeup? Where's the lint roller?!

Tony's sitting on the couch, watching me. "It ain't that big a deal, Toby. I should be more nervous than you." He chuckles.

I scoff. "When do I ever have a rhyme or reason to my actions?" I take Marshmallow to the bathroom with me and stare at my reflection, reapplying my makeup.

I hear Tony approach and he leans on the doorway. "Alright, tell me what you're worried about, huh?"

Pouting, I apply lip gloss. "I want to show my parents that I can adult well and that I'm not some crazy teen or college student anymore. I want to look put together." My hands fuss at my hair. "I want them to think I have my shit under control so that they won't question why I'm with someone who has a kid. If they see me as a kid, they'll worry that I'm biting off more than I can chew and that I could do harm to Sara in the long run." I ramble. "I was a crazy child and I'm surprised that they didn't think I'd drop out of college and become a drug dealer's babyboy or something."

Tony frowns. "Toby, if your parents don't see you as an adult by now, they're fucking stupid. Having Sara is even more proof of that, not against it. You have a secure job that you love where you take care of children all day. You have a boyfriend who's ready to get hitched and a kid who already sees you as her mommy. You live in a house, the endgame for suburban family life goals. You are beyond put together."

I smile. "Sometimes I think you forget that at the end of the day, I'm only twenty-two. I'm used to being babied because I'm always the youngest and I'm their kid that lived. Some people are getting out of college at this age."

Tony scratches the back of his neck. "I do forget, yeah. You seem so mature. But if you've got an issue with how they treat you, just tell 'em. You got at your age what most people don't get till mine or ever later." He bites his lip. "You don't think they'll be bothered by the age gap, do you?"

"More bothered by the fact that I'm already ready to settle down. They kinda told me I should just be young until I'm twenty-four. But I'm twenty-two with a five year old. Technically, I could either be someone who was her teen parent, or her brother. I've always gravitated towards older men, but I think they'll see you as a big step up since you aren't a 'negative influence' on me... or abusive. You know."

Tony looks bothered, shifting. "Toby, do you want to just be young? Is this family too much, too soon?"

"No. I want you." I put down my mascara and look at him in the eyes directly rather than through the mirror. "I feel ready, but it is kinda scary, you know? Not about whether or not I'll regret it, but just whether or not you'll think I can keep up. You're almost thirty and I'm still in my early twenties. The nearly decade age-difference might not be something so hot." I play with my shirt. "I do feel like sometimes, I'm a lot more hyper and stuff than you and I'm scared that I kind of force you into doing stuff because of my exciteableness and the fact that you're nice and like to make me happy."

Tony rests both of his hands on my cheeks. "No. I've never doubted your abilities, Toby. You're more equipped to be Sara's father than I am. I never see you as any less and your energy and excitement are qualities I love about you, qualities I fell in love with. You never force me to do anything. You encourage me to do more than sit around and work and that's good for me. You keep me young. I've never thought about our age difference before. It never crosses my mind."