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If I Could Tell Her || Minho

Based off the song "If I Could Tell Her" from Dear Evan Hansen by Steven Levenson

WARNING: Death of a loved one. If you are not comfortable please skip. 

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You sat in your room crying, thinking about your brother. Ben was gone, banished. He had been stung by a griever and gone crazy. You heard a knock on your door. 

"Hey, Y/n?" came Minho's voice. 

"Come in," you squeaked. He had been Ben's best friend.

Minho opened the door and made his way over to you. He sat beside you on his bed. "I'm sorry, Y/n," he mumbled.

"I just feel like I was such a disappointment to him," you cried.

He thought you were... awesome.

"Hey, don't say that," Minho cried. He placed his finger under your chin and lifted you face to meet his eyes. "He loved you. He was proud of you."

He thought I was awesome? My brother?

You shook your head, "He wasn't proud of me."

Definitely!

"Yes, he was," Minho argued.

How?

"How do you know that..." you asked desperately.

Well...
"Well..." Minho thought for a second. He knew Ben had been proud of you but just saying he knew wasn't going to reassure you. So, he decided to tell you the things he thought about you.

He said, There's nothing like your smile
Sort of subtle and perfect and real

"He always said how much he loved your hair. He thought you looked adorable when you wore pigtails," Minho said staring at you. You looked up in surprise. Why would your brother say something like that? That sounded more like a crush sort of thing. 

He said
You never knew how wonderful
That smile could make someone feel

"And he said you made him smile when no one else could," Minho continued.

And he knew
Whenever you get bored
You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans

"Ben knew that whenever you got bored you started singly softly to yourself."

And he noticed
That you still fill out the quizzes
That they put in those teen magazines

You looked at Minho. The way he said those things. It sounded like he thought them, not Ben. Minho continued, "He noticed you always are there to cheer anyone up."

But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
And though he wanted to
He couldn't talk to you
He couldn't find the way
But he would always say, If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she's everything to me
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could tell her

Did he say anything else?
You looked at Minho in shock. He really thought all of those things. And you were e-everything to him!? You blushed and slowly approached Minho causing him to blush and lean back a little. "What else did he think?"

A—about you?

Minho blushed, "Like what else he thought about you... th-that he shared.

Never mind, I don't really care anyways—

You blushed. "I-it really isn't important. I was just wondering-"

No, no, no—just, no, no—he said—he said so many things, I'm just
I'm trying to remember the best ones. So, um—

"Oh it's fine!" Minho said quickly. "He just thought so highly of you. There are a million things I could tell you."

He thought
You looked really pretty, er—
It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair

"I thi- er, um, he thought that you looked like a goddess when you wore that yellow dress with the daisies on it."

He did?

"H-he did?" you stuttered. Minho thought you looked like a goddess!

And he wondered how you learned to dance
Like all the rest of the world isn't there

"Yeah," Minho blushed. "He knew that you always checked on Chuck at night."

But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she's everything to me
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
if I could tell her
If I could tell her

But what do you do when there's this great divide?

"But how could he tell you if he didn't knew how you would react?" Minho asked, hurt in his eyes.

He just seemed so far away

You placed a hand on Minho's arm. "He just had to take a leap of faith," you whispered.

And what do you do when the distance is too wide?

Minho turned to you. "B-but what if you rejected him? What if you laughed?"

It's like I don't know anything

"How did he not know that I felt the same," you hinted. Minho took a deep breath-

And how do you say
I love you?
I love you
I love you
I love you

But we're a million worlds apart

You didn't wait for him to say it again. You smashed your lips to his. Minho's eyes grew wide and he froze.

And I don't know how I would even start

You pulled away. "I-I'm sorry," you whispered. Minho caught your face in his hands. He stroked your face with his thumbs before pulling you into a passionate kiss. You melted into the kiss. Salty tears still stained your lips but there was a sweet sadness covering you. 

If I could tell her
If I could...