A GODDESSES PARADISE (girlxgirlxgirl)

14; Push and pull

"Sometimes when it's hard to figure out the present, one must look into the past"

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⚠️ PG 13 basically ⚠️

If nobody sees you, do you exist?

If a tree falls in the forest, but nobody is there to listen, does it make a sound?

There are different kinds of loneliness, some worse than others, but one stands out. The feeling of being alone while surrounded by others. It's the worst kind. You don't feel real, you don't feel alive. When people sit around you, talk around you, but they don't acknowledge you. How can one prove to one's self that they exist, if nobody else is willing to back up that statement? If nobody's eyes meet yours, if nobody's words reaches you. It's a downwards spiral, leading from one negative thought to the next.

Ariadne wouldn't say that she was the ugly duckling of her family, but she was different. Different in a bad way. While her sisters were beautiful, she was average looking. Her strawberry blond hair used to be a more dirty blond, and people would sometimes compare it to the dry wheat on the fields or the sandy roads leading up to their house. While her sisters had bright smiles and sparkling eyes, with distinct features, Ariadne was more normal. An awkward smile, dull eyes and softer features. She wasn't the ugly duckling, but at some point she became one.

She was painfully shy. The leader can recall many days where she didn't even speak to anyone. So shy that she was slowly pushed to become her sisters shadow, someone in the background who is always addressed last. At every word she added hesitance and stuttering. Her hands often shook when she spoke, she couldn't make eye contact, couldn't stand or sit straight without sinking in on herself. After awhile people just brushed her off. Whispers went around. She was a lost cause, that's what everyone said.

They lived at the outskirts of town, and her four older sisters hated it. They were so embarrassed of the house, or more specifically, the location of the house. While all other girls belonging to Aphrodites temple their age, lived in the city, they were forced to head through fields and muddy roads to get to school at the temple. It didn't matter how carefully they walked, dust and dirt always ended up on their dresses. Ariadne on the other hand, being the shy person that she was, reveled in living so far away from the city center.

She didn't have to deal with other people. She could hide away in her room while her sisters were out partying or spending time with their friends. She found some company from the girls belonging to Demeters temple, who often played around or worked in the fields outside her house. But afraid of her sisters ill will, Ariadne didn't socialize with them too much. She might get dirty playing outside. She couldn't be dirty. That's what they always said.

Waking up every morning, Ariadne would tiptoe past her sleeping sisters and stare out the window, which of course was an open hole in the wall. The first rays of sunshine hitting the yellow or green crops always calmed her mind. Those times of day were the best. Nobody else was awake except for her. The birds singing and cool morning air hitting her skin always felt special. But when her sisters woke up she always returned to bed obediently, doing everything to stay out of their way. Life was just like that, for many years. Walking around on her toes, her breath stuck in her throat, ready to make the next mistake that would tick the nearest person off.

Of course there was something that made her turn from a shy, scared girl with dusty hair to the most popular Aphrodites girl in the city. But to be completely honest, Ariadne tends to forget what really happened. Because she wants to forget her past, doesn't want to remember what it was like to live like that. Scared, hidden away, ignored and whispered about. Because truly, there is nothing worse than feeling alone while being surrounded by others. How do you even solve that problem?