Need You (ShinDeku)

Ch. 45 - Promised

A/N: soooo, that last chapter escalated pretty quickly...

Trigger warning: there is a lot of self blame and regret in this chapter, but most of it is within the section labeled trigger warning. Take care.
Have fun reading!

Shinso POV

(⚠️trigger warning start⚠️)

     No. No, I had him I had him I had him he was right there. Why was I so useless he's gone now. I couldn't do anything. My quirk was best suited for the situation. I was the closest to him. I had the best chance to save him. It's my fault. It's my fault.

     I didn't notice mic and Aizawa enter the room, even as mic stood on the spot that I was staring at. The spot where he left.

     I promised I would keep you safe. I failed, I'm not hero material. Why did you think I was your hero?

     Aizawa-sensei is grasping my shoulders, asking something about whether or not I'm hurt. Mic looks lost, like he's about to cry.

     What did you see in me? What does Aizawa see in me? You were in my arms and I let you go. A hero would never let that happen.

     Aizawa guided me into a seat and went off to comfort Mic. He talks to midnight and some detective while absentmindedly rubbing Mic's back. My eyes never stray from the place where he was standing.

     I'm so sorry. You're gone and I don't know where you are or if you're okay or how to find you. I let my guard down and failed at my one job, to keep you safe.

     "Hey kid. I talked to the police department. They're working with the hero commission to try to find the base and when they do, you'll be on the rescue team with me." My gaze snaps to Aizawa in surprise. "Oh, and I know that look. Don't go blaming yourself for what happened, it's irrational." He grumbles.

     I can't bring myself to respond, though there's some type of relief at the fact that I'm going to be on the rescue team. It's not over. We're going to get you back and you're going to be safe. I'll never let this happen again.

(⚠️trigger warning end⚠️)

——-

Aizawa POV

     School was cancelled for the rest of the day. I told Hizashi to meet me at home and I took Shinso to his dorm.

     The kid was virtually entirely unresponsive, but I knew he was at least partially listening to me based on how he looked when I told him about the rescue mission.

     Most of the other students had gone off to their dorms, though one or two were crying and the others looked pretty down. I knew the look on Shinso's face though. It was one I was all too familiar with. I doubted telling him not to blame himself would do anything, but I said it anyways.

     I wanted to just go home with Hizashi and comfort him because I knew he needed it, but I also knew if I had done that, Shinso probably would have stayed in the cafeteria all day and possibly all night too. So, I dropped him off at his dorm and only went back home once I had made sure he had eaten and made him promise to go to bed early tonight.

     When I finally got home, Hizashi was crying. I silently led him to our room and got us both cuddled up under the blankets on our bed. We sat there for about an hour before he fell asleep, and I let him nap while I cleaned up the house. I know he won't want to do it later and I need something to keep me busy anyways.

     I focus more on not letting the 'i should have done this' or 'I should have done that' thoughts in than I do on the actual cleaning. As a hero you quickly learn that there will be a lot of times where you made the wrong decision, or got there a little too late, or couldn't save everyone. It's part of the job, and if you can't figure out how to let it go, you're not going to last long. It's going to distract you, and make you too emotional. Then, you're more of a liability to yourself and any teammates you're working with.

     I heave a long sigh, moving to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Those idiots at the hero commission better hurry up and find that base or I'll have to go out looking for it myself.

     I run my fingers through my hair, tying it back while I wait for the coffee to brew. After it does I find myself sitting on the couch, checking my phone for missed calls, messages, and emails.

     If they take as long as they did last time  theres no way he's gonna make it. I know that sounds horrible but it was a miracle he was even alive the first time we found him. He's still recovering this time around and we still have no idea why they wanted him in the first place.

     We questioned a few of the students on what happened today and most of them seemed to recall the girl saying something about her boss being "really mad" at izuku. We know from the time that they were being held at the police station that the leader was the one with the disintegration quirk, but... it's no use trying to analyze all of this, it'll only stress me out more. The police department and hero commission have it covered, and when they get new information it'll go straight to me.

     I take a sip of my coffee and take a deep breath. My phone rings and I jump forward reaching for it and answering the call.

     "What is it?" I ask immediately, and I do a double take when I hear Nezu's voice on the other end.

     "I just wanted to let you know that I've sent miss Uraraka back to the dorms and let the students in your class know that she is not, in fact, Toga." Right, I forgot that another student who wasn't in the cafeteria had found Uraraka passed out in the bathroom. She had taken her to recovery girl around when Izuku was taken and recovery girl had informed Nezu.

     "She's been filled in on what happened, and told her end of the story as well. Apparently Toga had been disguised as another student in the support course who called in sick today, and she followed miss Uraraka into the girls bathroom before classes this morning, where she transformed back before attacking her. The student found her in one of the stalls, that's why no one had reported her being passed out. She said that Toga had attacked her with a needle, so I informed detective tsukauchi. They think her quirk might require blood in some way."

     "Okay, thank you. Let me know if you get any new information." I respond.

     "Of course. Take care." Nezu said before hanging up.

     This is going to be rough.

1131 words.