Sam and Deena B.S.F (Before Sarah Fier)

Deena Johnson Part 11

I wake up Saturday morning face to face with Sam. She's so cute when she's asleep, her cheeks squished against my pillow and the way her dimples dip into her face, it's my favorite pleasure waking up and seeing her. I slip a piece of her stray hair behind her ear and let her sleep a little longer. 

I get up and sneak out of my room into the kitchen. Josh's at the table with a stack of newspapers, digging through them like he's a pirate looking for buried treasure. I grab a mug from the cabinet and look over his shoulder at the papers.

"1965? Did you forget what year we're in?" I asked Josh. He kept his eyes on the papers and replied.

"No. Could you give me some space, Deena?" He seemed stressed so I backed off and poured myself some coffee.

"What are those for?" I asked briefly. He looked up at me like I just caught him in a lie. His eyes wide and his mouth pursed.

"S-School project." He muttered out. I nodded, curious, but let him off the hook. 

I went back to my room, Sam sat up, rubbing her eyes. I close the door when she blinks open and sees me and smiles.

"Did I wake you?" I asked, walking to the bed and sitting.

"No." She said, pushing her hair back. She eyes my mug. I hand it to her, letting her take a sip. I'd give her the entire world if I could. She gives me the mug back and leans her forehead against my shoulder, taking me in. I put the mug on my night stand and wrap my arms around her.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. I could feel her shaking her head.

"Nothing." She looks up at me and smiles. I'm always worried I did something wrong and it's bothering her. I always think I'm the problem even when I know I'm not. She lays down in my lap and nuzzles into me. I brush her hair back as she plays with the drawstrings of my hoodie.

"Can I ask you a question?" She said out of nowhere.

"Sure." I say back. Sam's reluctant to ask the question, making me more impatient to hear what she's about to ask.

"How are you so, like, comfortable with me?" Her eyes gleam at me and I don't know what to say.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Her eyes pondered up to the ceiling and I let her respond.

"I look at you sometimes and I just-- I can't believe that you're just so you. Like you couldn't be anyone else in the world even if you tried. I don't know how you present yourself like that, or even if you feel the same about yourself, but it's just something that I've always wondered about you."

"It's a rodeo of a life. Believe me." Sam sat up and sat face to face with me.

"But how do you do it?" She asked me. I shrugged, I really don't know how to answer.

"Roll with the punches, I guess?" I said, the answer was not satisfactory enough for her, she waves me off.

"When did you know?"

"When did I know what?" I said, so confused.
"That you were different."

"Ouch, different??" I said with a laugh. She pushed me and smiled.

"You know what I mean." She looks me up and down and I sigh.

"I always kinda knew, you know? Like as a kid I knew."

"How old?" She asked. She's very persistent.

"I don't know dude, like, elementary school probably."

"So you had crushes in elementary school?"

"Yeah, totally. I mean, I didn't know they were crushes until I got older."