5,160 Miles [Billie Eilish]

I know fear

I know fear. I've met her a million times, the first being the night my parents never came home. I met her again when I had to plan a funeral for two people by myself. Then again, when I had no choice but to sort through bills and figure out paying the mortgage at sixteen.

I know her. She's visited me more times than I can count, but this time she came bigger, and stronger. She came in worse than she ever had before. She had her hands inside my head. She shook my brain, forcing as much anxiety out of me as she could. She gripped at my heart and repeatedly squeezed it, causing it to pound out of my chest. She whispered in my ear, telling me all the horrible things that could've happened.

Fear chooses her favourites, and she can't seem to stay away from me. She loves me.

My eyes darted upward as the cafe door opened. I saw tom walk in, and fear shamefully scurry out before the door closed again. He sent me a smile and a wave as he noticed me.

"Fuck." I exhaled the breath that I'd been holding in for far too long.

"Reese! I'm so sorry, I completely forgot what day it was!" He laughed, I'd never appreciated that laugh as much as I did in that moment.

"I got you a coffee... it might be lukewarm now." My voice was clearly shaky but I tried to play it off with a giggle.

"That's ok darling! Thank you." Tom melted into his regular chair before taking a sip.

"Hey, it's good to see you." Billie smiled, I could tell that she too was getting over a wave of anxiety.

"How are you both?" The happy old man asked as he patted the table. I could tell Tom felt awful for being late. I wanted to scream in his face that I don't care how long I have to wait for him, as long as he turns up. I didn't of course, but I wanted to.

"We're good! We were out last night. We only got here ten minutes ago ourselves." I lied with a laugh, Billie kept a straight face.

"Oh, so you weren't waiting too long then! How was your night cherub's?" Tom joined in my laughter.

I briefly filled him in on Kylie, and her smugness. He joined in a quick bitch session with me. I always tell him my gossip, the good, the bad and the juicy. He gets all the details, and he absolutely loves it.

"She doesn't sound too charming." He pulled a face, and I shook my head in agreement.

We all tucked into our breakfasts that Jules had brought over. "So, how long do you have left Billie?" Tom smiled over at her.

"Just under two weeks." Her voice had a hint of sadness running through it.

"It's gone by far too quickly!" Tom exclaimed with a sigh. He wasn't wrong, I've never known time to go by so fast.

We all finished up eating. Tom had some things he needed to get done today, so he unwillingly had to rush off. Bless his heart, he huffed over his departure for a while before he actually got up to leave. He really wanted to stay and chat like usual.