Dusk: A Handmaid's Tale Story

Chapter 17

-Before Gilead-

Up until now, living on my own at such a young age had been the most challenging thing I had faced. 

I was a textbook Child's Services case: drug addict mom, absent father, and placed with grandparents who were the next of kin to take care of me. Except they also didn't give a shit about me either, oops. 

At 15 years old, I spent my first night at a friend's house sleeping on their sofa because I had no place to go. 

Then at 16 years old, I was walking into a "pregnancy assistance center" wondering how the hell my life had managed to be screwed up so badly. 

After informing the "loving" and "caring" "father" of what his essential crime had resulted in, he had promptly sent me to hell and I had returned the favor being sending a rock through his windshield. 

The center was recommended to me by a case manager who had shown up to my school after an "anonymous" tip arrived to her that a teen was at risk and living homeless. It ended up being a small corner building painted a light blue color with flowers around its entrance. It didn't strike me as the kind of place to go and get an abortion, but then again who was I to judge? What experience did I have in what that should look like anyway? 

I walked in, the door ringing with a small bell attached to it signaling my arrival to whoever was present and making me cringe at the annoying tone. The lobby was bright and airy with a small bookcase and piano music playing in the background as if it was some hotel lobby. I was the only one in the room, thankfully, beside the older woman at the counter who smiled brightly at me. 

"Hello! How can we help you out today?" she said with a cheerful disposition. She had to have been around 60 years old, with greying hair pulled into a bun and a purple cardigan wrapped around her shoulders. 

I crossed my arms tightly, head lowered, "Hi, um, I'm here to get some help? I-I was told to come here. I'm, you know pregnant," I studdered, embarrassed. 

It was obvious I was young, too young to be having a kid, and in this mess in the first place, but here I was. 

The woman pulled a clipboard out and handed it to me, "You've come to the right place, dear. Just sign these and we'll get you to see the doctor alright?"

Her sunny demeanor was really confusing but I took the clipboard regardless and signed away my medical information. 

-

"Hello Serenity, my name is Sarah and I'll be here to assist you today. Can I get you some water or juice to settle in?" 

"Sarah" had called me into a back room that consisted of comfy chairs, more bookshelves, and flower pots arranged about randomly. 

She was also a bit older, although dressed in casual-looking medical scrubs, so clearly, she had some kind of medical experience. Her name tag presented her name as such as well, "Dr. Sarah Goodman, OB-GYN." 

I shook my head before settling into the sofa she had gestured to in front of her desk area. She sat with the clipboard I had completed earlier and smiled. 

"I know this must be really difficult for you to be dealing with Serenity, but I want you to know that you aren't alone alright? Regardless of the circumstances that led to where you are today, we are not here to judge you, but instead, to go through this process with you and offer you all the assistance you'll need through your journey into motherhood."

I was sincerely confused now. My gut had been telling me earlier something was off about this place not just by the exterior, but by everyone's demeanor, and now Sarah's words confirmed my suspicion. That wasn't the original plan and that wasn't what I was here for.