Levi x Reader Oneshots

An Impossible Choice (Levi x Reader)

Author's Note: Please be advised that this story contains stillbirth (loss of a child) and resulting emotional trauma. If that triggers any bad things for you, feel free to skip the chapter. Warm hugs to you all (because you'll need them)! 

"Captain Ackerman, they both can't survive. Saving one will doom the other. I know it's difficult, but you have to make a choice."

"I don't...what are you saying?"

"I'm sorry, Captain. You're the only one who can make this call. We need your decision."

"I...I can't..."

"We're running out of time! Choose! Now!"

...

"Captain?"

"...Her. Save her. Please."

------------------------------------------

The hospital staff had moved (f/n) to a different room, so she wouldn't have to stay in the one where her baby had died. She had lost consciousness halfway through the birth, and she still hadn't woken up, though the doctors assured Levi she would eventually. He didn't know what he should do when that time came.

What could he even say to her, after making the decision to save her life instead of their child's?

He had been sitting at her bedside for hours. Not moving. Not thinking. He felt strangely detached from his body as he stared blankly at his wife, his heart being crushed by a weight that even his superhuman strength could not bear.

Then she stirred. It started with a small groan, a fluttering of eyelashes against deathly pale cheeks. Finally, those (e/c) eyes opened halfway to look at him, as if that was all they had the strength to do. And once she registered his devastated expression, her brow furrowed.

"L-Levi," she rasped weakly. Then, "Where...is my baby?"

Levi flinched as if he had been physically slapped. For all that question stung, he may as well have been. In fact, there may as well have been a knife in his chest.

(F/n) could obviously tell that something was wrong. However, she seemed unable to accept it. "Please," she choked out. "I want...to see my baby."

Levi could only stare at her, guilt breaking his heart all over again.

Her expression turned desperate. "Where is my baby?" she whispered, tears filling her eyes. "Where is my baby, Levi?"

When he didn't answer, she repeated that same question over, and over, until she was screaming it.

"Where is my baby?"

She must have been loud enough for people in the hallway to hear, because doctors and nurses rushed into the room. As frail as (f/n)'s body was, it still took three of them to hold her down while they sedated her. The entire time, his wife kept kicking, and screaming, and sobbing – repeating that same, wretched question.

Levi couldn't bear to watch. If his choice had caused her this much pain, how could it have been right? Yet, even now, he couldn't imagine choosing the opposite, because he couldn't imagine his life without her. And so, he was at an impasse, unable to process, to reconcile – let alone even think about the fact that he had also lost his child today.

Regardless of right or wrong, one thing was certain: it was all his fault. And even though he had chosen to keep (f/n) in his life, it didn't matter. He would lose her anyway, because she would hate him for this, and she had every right to. He may as well have killed her child with his own hands.