Levi x Reader Oneshots

Pain (Self-Harm Levi x Reader)

Author's Note: As the title says, this story contains self-harm. Please don't read if that topic upsets you. Also, you all are beautiful and wonderful, so please don't ever hurt yourselves. Talk to your friends, your family, your doctor, or whomever you are comfortable with. Even if it feels like you're alone, you're not.  

Levi sat on the edge of his bed, the last of the sun's rays illuminating the blade he held to his already-scarred skin.

He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't make himself stop. After all, the physical pain gave him something to focus on when his emotional pain was too great to bear. Like it was today.

Levi drew the sharp edge across his pale skin, seeing a thin line of red appear. He hissed softly, but he also welcomed the pain, letting it drown out the faces of the subordinates he had lost. The images of their mutilated corpses faded into the background, until there was only the stinging sensation on his left arm.

A quick knock sounded on his door, followed by an uninvited entrance. "Levi, I came to see if –" Her words morphed into a gasp when her gaze found the blade that he hadn't had time to move.

Levi froze, staring into the eyes of his fellow squad captain, his best friend, and the woman he was secretly in love with. She was the absolute last person he wanted to find him like this.

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Levi's wide eyes met yours as he sat on the edge of his bed, completely frozen. For a moment, you forgot how to breathe as you took in the cut on his arm – the cut that Levi himself had made – as well as the blade he still held against his skin.

In a flash, you were standing in front of him, his name on your lips. Levi was too shocked to resist as you took the blade from his hand and tossed it to the farthest corner of the room. It hit the ground with a clatter.

Then you were on your knees, cradling his wrists in your hands, taking a long look at the heartbreaking lines that covered his arms. Some were relatively faded, while some were bright red. And of course, the cut he had just made was still dripping blood.

"Why?" you croaked as you looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

At the question, Levi finally snapped out of his shocked state. He turned his face away, his grey-blue eyes devoid of emotion as he breathed, "I'm sorry."

A single, soft cry escaped your lips as you reached up and threw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. Levi stiffened, holding his arms out in front of him. Whether it was to avoid hurting himself further, or getting blood on you, or both, you didn't know.

You couldn't bear to see him like this. You felt like you were going to fall apart. However, you tried to control your sobs. There were things you needed to say – things that couldn't wait.

"I love you," you whispered hoarsely. It was the first time you had ever told him that. "I'm here for you. I know that you must feel terrible right now, but I promise, we will get through this together. So please, don't do this anymore. Please."

Levi sighed before relaxing into you. He rested his head on your shoulder, and just for a moment, he allowed his eyes to flutter closed. It was difficult for him to admit, but he needed that hug desperately.

Of course, you knew about the loss of his squad. You knew that Levi was upset about it, but you never imagined that he would resort to this. And from the look of things, this wasn't the first time.

You cursed yourself silently, over and over. He was your best friend. Yet, you never noticed.

You would've kept hugging him for hours, but that cut on his arm was still bleeding. Slowly, gently, you detached yourself. "Where is your first aid kit?" you murmured.