That Brunette Boy

Chapter 5: Daddy's little girl

WARNING: SELF HARM AND SUICIDE

Athena Rodriguez

I woke up to Jake moving the hair out of my face, Seeing from outside it was probably like 6 or 5 in the morning.

"leave me alone." I groan to Jake trying to wake me up

"Do you want my mom to find us sleeping in my car?" Jake comments while laughing , "I can drop you of at your house so you can get more sleep."

"Fine" I groan once again and sit on the passenger seat

Jake turns on his car and starts driving, and once again he puts his hand on my thigh

"Hey, uhm can I ask you a question?" Jake ask's breaking the silence in the car

"Yeah sure"

"Me and you drifted after your dad left, and you never told me about what happened. Me, Mason and Anthony always wondered what happened. Can you tell me? its okay if your not ready, I know you and your dad were really close so if your not ready to talk about him its okay." He responds turning he's head to me

I never cry in front of people, I hate doing it. It always made me feel so fragile and pathetic. So I've always bottled up my feelings and put them to the side. I would just ignore them, until I got to my bed and cried myself to sleep.
But I have a feeling all those bottled up emotions are all gonna spill out right now.

I took a deep breath and sooner then later everything just came spilling out "March 15 the day we all went to Court, the night before court was the worst. My dad put his hands on my mom, and me. My mom had to cover her bruise's and cuts so did I. He had been hitting my mom for a while before they ever got divorce

Sometimes he would take his anger out on me, when my mom or my aunt wasn't home.

Even before court it was horrible, I had no idea what happened between them everything just fell apart. Even with me a couple weeks before the court date my dad just stopped hanging out with me stopped talking to me he just stopped. Fast forward back to the day of court.

When I walked into the court room my heart starting beating insanely fast, and when the Judge walked in it started beating even more. The judge started talking about random shit I didn't pay attention to until he called my name to speak.

I got up from my seat and he asked me if I support my mom and my dads marriage, I said I do because I wanted my dad to still be around

I still wanted to be daddy's little girl and I knew that if something went wrong I would lose my dad, I would lose my father.
But I also knew deep down inside that if he left my mom would be way happier.

When the Judge asked my dad if he wanted to divorce my mom my dad said yes, when the judge asked my dad if he wanted to share custody with my mom" I paused and took another deep breath.

"He said No." 

Jake could hear the cracks in my voice, I turned my head towards him and you could see how sad he was.

"When my dad said no my heart shattered all over the floor, I started crying but I didn't want anybody to see me so I cried in silence. I didn't even look at my dad I just stood there broken. When court was done I rushed over to my mom's car and I just started balling crying, I didn't even make it to the car before I fell to my knees and cried even harder.

I just couldn't understand why my dad wouldn't want to see me anymore, I still can't understand. Do I still wanna see him and be with him after everything he put me and my mom through, yeah I do still want to.

It kills me everyday, missing him kills me everyday" wiping my tears away and  trying to get my breathing control 

I take a deep breath and smile at Jake, I wipe my tears one more time and continue speaking.

"After my dad left I fell into a deep depression my anxiety got really bad.

My depression got so bad I—I I tried killing myself when I was 16.

I just couldn't understand why he would leave, I always wonder if it was my fault, and I still do.
You know the funny thing is, My dad broke my heart before any boy could ever even attempt it"

My hands were shaking at this point and I was sobbing, choking every time I try taking a deep breath

Jake had already pulled into a parking lot while I was talking to him. He could see how hurt I was. You could see jakes bad boy side to him faded away while I was talking to him, deep in his green eyes you could see he was sad.

Jake grabs my face and tells me. "Hey hey baby, it was never your fault. Your dad leaving was his fault he's missing out on so much, he's missing out on seeing the best person in the world grow up. He's missing out on so much and that's on him. And hey I don't want you ever to cut your self or do anything to hurt you anymore okay?"

I nod my head and wipe my tears off of my face.

"Thank you for listening  to my bullshit for an hour, I'm sorry I know your tried and you just wanna go to bed." I apologize

"Don't be sorry I asked you I should be the one saying sorry, I asked you about your father." I nod head and turn my sight back to the window.

"I meant what I said. please don't hurt your self anymore. This world is so much better with you in it, I need you to stay here. Either If its with me, by yourself, or you with someone else. I need you here whether its as a best friend or a girlfriend"

"I promise" I promise him and grab my hand in his.

After driving for a little bit we finally get to my house. Jake pull's up to the house and get's out of the car to open my door. After I get out I go into Jake to give him a hug.

"Thank you, Thank you for everything." I thank him while hugging him and snuggling my face into his chest

"You're welcome, I will always be here. I promise." Jake promises while kissing my forehead.

"What are you gonna do now?" I ask

"I have thing's to take care of." He responds with a very serious voice

"This early?" I ask

"It just came up, I have to run to my office" He responds without giving me eye contact

"Oh okay well, drive safely and text me whenever." I say while backing up from the hug

"I will, go back to bed okay?" He say's while turning on his car

"Alright be careful"

" I will." He says while finally pulling out of my drive way

I wonder where the fuck he's going at 6 O'clock in the morning.

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Heyyy, so what do we think about this chapter??? This chapter really got to me because this chapter is based on my life. This chapter is based on when I was 12. I hope you guys liked this chapter as much as I do. I totally did not cry while writing this chapter but hey its okay. It felt good writing this chapter cause I kinda spilled out my emotions just like Athena did, Me and Athena have a little bit to much in common. Okay okay sorry for my rant, I hope you guys have a good day where ever you are!!