Blame It On Pride

C h a p t e r T h i r t y - S e v e n

Rafe's POV:
I feel tears that weal against my face, I yell at the driver to take us to the closest hospital, as fast as he can as I hold her, I hold my Y/n...

'Y/n-keep your eyes open-Y/n please-look at me-' I panic, nudging her and pressing the garment against the wound, clasping her face in my palms, I attempt to keep her with me, my whole body is shaking and I can barely manage to sit in one place,

'How much longer?' I loudly recite at the driver,

'We're almost there!' He responds,

I keep muttering at Y/n, holding her close against me, beseeching and begging her to stay, to stay with me, she can't leave me like that-she simply cannot, I won't allow it, it's only the beginning and I won't let her leave like that,

She means everything to me...

After what felt like eternity, I see the distant fade of the hospital, I secure Y/n on me, the driver momentarily pulls up and opens the door for me, I step out and run towards the hospital, mumbling at Y/n in idle hopes that she can hear me,

'Y/n-Y/n-can you hear me? We're here-Y/n please stay-please, we're here, you'll feel better in a minute-just please stay with me-' I keep uttering as I run into the spacious purlieu, surgeons and the receptionist widen their eyes as they see me, they quickly begin to run towards us, I place her on the bed as they begin to roll towards the procedure, I prance with them, gliding my hand over her hair, muttering to her,

'What happened?' The surgeon asks,

'She was shot-t-' I mutter, 'please-do something-do everything to get her back-she's everything to me-please-' I plead as the surgeon nods and mutters a 'yes'...

Once they are taking her away, I supplicate to stay with her,  to hold her hand, to be near her-but they crane back that it's going to be more dangerous for her, however I can stay outside the room, await there, it's not enough...

Rough the modicum window above the door, I can inspect what's happening, it's blurred and complicated to distinguish, however my eyes remain on her,

Rage, that's the majority of what I can feel now, she can't risk her life like this,

I am mad at myself even more, a lot more, I should've known that she'll come back searching for me, she never listens...

I hear a phone vibrating in her jacket that I kept, Mrs. Garcia,

My fist clenches and my jaw is tense as I piscina up the phone, my voice is hoarse and shattered from the yelling and sobbing,

'Hey,where are you-'

'Where is she? You've got the fucking nerve to ask where is she?' I ask,

'Cameron-what is happening?'

'How did you let her go-you had one task, one fucking task to make sure that she is not involved, and you faked up Ben the simplest.' I recite, grasping the railing that's beside me,

'We tried-'

'You didn't try enough, I told you that she's desperate for answers, couldn't you camouflage why I left in order to sidetrack her?' I ask,

'She barged into the office and noticed the file and I guess she later took it-'

'And through all this time, you didn't manage to place the file anywhere else?'

'I didn't think that she'd be so desperate-'

'Well she was.' I respond, tersely, as I am simply unable to contain the rage that is building up in me, hanging up the call, I grasp the closest object on my left and shove it against the wall, the vase scatters and renders in modicum pieces,

I slide down the wall, desperate to see her, desperate for her to be alright, searching for something to let my rage out,

Grasping my hair, the inevitable tears begin to pool as I pull at my hair,

'Fuck!'

I recite, standing up and moving closer to the wall, I clench my fist and punch the wall, it leaves an inscribed hole as a legacy as my knuckles begin to pigment in red,  with each punch I recite her name, my hand starts to feel numb as I carry on, reciting her,

I can't feel my hand at all, however it doesn't matter,

'Y/n?...' I keep reciting, until I am stopped by someone behind me, I shove them aside and keep going, however they are not resisting,

'Bro-stop-Rafe-stop-' I hear Barry mutter as he grasps me from behind, I attempt to resist however it's languishing, I'm all out of breath,

'Let fucking go of me asshole-let go-' I keep reciting as he pulls me entirely aside,

'What the fuck do you want from me?' I yell, repelling his ubiquitous attempts to calm me down, I am not calming down, not until I am assured that Y/n is fine,

'She'll be alright- I promise!' He recites, 'she'll be alright man.'