When Worlds Collide

Turned Against My Will

I was waking up when I heard Jasper whisper in my ear "I know you're waking up, and I know you will probably hate me but... I can't let you have a choice. I can't let you choose to die. I'm sorry my love." My mouth was forced open and liquid when down my throat because I swallowed so I didn't choke.

I screamed out in pain as vangs protruded from my gums. I heard a swish as I sat up and saw Jasper being dragged away from me and my siblings surrounding me. I was crying and Damon who had closed my blinds sat next to me and hugged me. Stefan slid the daylight ring onto my pointer finger. Carlisle said, "Hey Rae, look at me." I looked up at him "Baby, where does it hurt?" I said "My gums." Alex turned on him "What did you do?" Damon said, "Hey beautiful, let me see those teeth."

I opened my mouth and he touched a fang he said "He turned her, against her will." Esme said, "Why?" She looked sad Bella and Alex hugged me. Jasper said, "Because I couldn't let her die and that is what she was choosing." Damon said, "It was her choice to make, not yours." Stefan said "Arguing about it isn't gonna change anything. Rae, I need you to remember to always keep this ring on while in the sun." I nodded "Or I'll burn to death."

Damon said, "Now there are blood bags in the basement, you can feed on animals like Stefan but..." Stefan said "It will keep you alive but not satisfied or strong. I do it because I'm a ripper." Damon said, "Yeah, uh you can feed right from the source but try not to kill anyone it will ruin your conscience." Once he stopped talking he nodded and I zipped off deep into the woods until I couldn't run anymore and fell to the ground leaning against a tree. I knew he'd follow me, so when he appeared in front of me I wasn't surprised.

I watched him as he paced, he said "RaeLynn..." he sighed and slid down the tree in front of me, he said "I have messed up... a lot, I stopped checking on you when you were a kid, I could have saved you from that boy had I continued. I left you again after I lost control and I did it because I didn't want to hurt you. But I did hurt you, by leaving I broke your heart and I can't ever forgive myself for that and I don't expect you to either. RaeLynn Mazalea Uley-Swan all I ask is that maybe one day you will give me a chance to prove that I will never hurt you again. I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you."

I said "Jasper, you turned me. Against my will, you took my choice away from me. Jasper, I saw a life with you, when Carlisle told me I was miscarrying I blamed myself. I thought you would hate me because I killed our baby. Then Bella's birthday came around and I got my letter... suddenly I was free, I was free from the abuse, I was free to be with you, and then..." he pulled me into his arms and said "And you wanted to get pregnant again. You wanted us to have a baby." I said "I know it sounds silly but yeah, and I was hoping you wanted that as well." he said "Would I have given you a baby? Of course, id give you anything. Would I want a baby? Yes, before I became a vampire I always wanted to be a father, and then that day when we realized we could... The point is, I don't want, kids, or a life, or anything without you in it. So yes I forced you to turn against your will. Because you were gonna die, Rae, you were going to stop fighting, and I couldn't... I couldn't let you go. Im sorry, id rather have you alive."

I said "Even though I'm still screwed up? And now I can't give you kids?" He said "You're not screwed up, you've never been screwed up. You have had a tough life with a dick of a father, who by the way I still want to murder, he taught you that you don't matter and he was wrong. You matter so much to me, to the family, to your siblings... Hell, you matter to your friends here in town, to the mayor and his wife. Because we all see what Charlie cant see. We see who you are, how strong, beautiful, independent, full of life, and amazing you are. And if you want kids, we can adopt or something. I don't know. I just know I want you but most importantly I want you to be happy."

I scooted down so I was laying in his arms and said "Then can we stay right here for a little bit? Being back in your arms makes me happy." He kissed my head and said, "For as long as you want." And so we stayed right there. We sat in silence, he watched me and I watched the forest around us. Until eventually I fell asleep in his arms hoping I wake up still in his arms.