A million miles [Billie Eilish]

Hyperventilate

*BILLIES POV*

There it was, right in front of me. The house I spent a whole ass month living in, and here I am now, struggling to muster up the courage to knock on the door.

Reese agreed to meet me, but only if our meeting was at her house. I guess she still wasn't up for public outings. Not that I minded much, I'd rather this conversation be had in private than in-front of a load of strangers at some fancy restaurant.

Just knock Billie, for fuck sake.

I knocked, and as I waited I seriously debated turning around and running away. Running away from the conversation we were about to have, running away from my emotions, running away from- "hey Bil," I took a sudden step back, then of course tripped down the three steps that lead to her front door. Real smooth Billie. Real fucking smooth.

"Hi... I um- shit." I blurted, fuck knows what I was trying to say. Reese laughed cutely at my clumsiness. Her smile stunned me, just like it always did.

"Come in," she stepped toward the left of the door so I could pass through.

I didn't expect her to be so... calm? Actually, yes I did. This is Reese we're talking about, I knew that eventually she'd cool off and hear me out - not that I deserved to be heard but still.

Reese flopped herself down on the sofa, then patted the space next to her. I sat down, keeping a small space between us.

She looked perfect. Her eyes, although not as bright as I remembered, still looked beautiful. Her natural skin, blemished from the stress, still looked flawless to me. Her lips... don't get me started on her fucking lips.

Fuck Billie... how could you hurt her? I asked myself for the millionth time.

"I um..." I paused to clear my throat, "I'm so fucking sorry Reese."

I could actually see the pain in her eyes - I didn't think that was a thing until now, "I wish I believed you Billie."

Her voice remained innocent which only hurt my heart more. I'd rather her scream at me, tell me how much of a dick I am, "I don't want to lose you Reese... I can't lose you."

"Billie... you already lost me." Her voice kept quiet, but turned serious.

My palms became sweaty, my throat swelled up and my brain clouded over. I can't lose her. I won't. She's everything to me, I fucked up but I know by the agonising pain in my chest that she's the one. She's my fucking person. Fuck. "Reese, let me fix this..."