18. returning to absolute chaos in the common

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Stepping through the portal with luz gripping my hand just in case she looks around the empty courtyard, smiling reassuringly I walk down to the wide double doors and open them, the hallway crowded with loud preteens and teenagers. Luz grips my hand tighter as we navigate the hallway to the common room, opening the door I immediately see raven in bird form sobbing their eyes out as amber holds them and whispers

"Hey.. ven- it's alright.. please don't cry"

Raven's pitch gets higher as they start loudly squealing like one of those chicken squeaky toys, knocking on the door gently I softly say

"Knock knock I'm back"

Amber looks at me swiftly and since luz is practically hiding behind me she asks quietly

"Where's luz..??"

Then raven starts squeaking louder until luz peeks her head out from behind my shoulder and sees raven is crying because she thinks luz has passed, panicking luz rushes up to amber asking a quick 'can I?' And once she gets the ok she picks up raven and hugs them

"Hey dude it's alright- I'm not dead."

Slowly raven goes from harpy form to human form, their arms limply clutching the sleeves of luzes sweater as they rest their head on luzes shoulder still silently crying, standing next to amber I frown- though happy- at the friend reunion

"We'll never separate those two will we?? They're damn near like twin siblings"

Shaking her head no amber frowns then sighs, looking up at me she admits quietly

"We all skipped classes the days you two went missing... raven missed you two more than naomi... as soon as you guys didn't return after your evening run slash walk raven went in bird form and they just kept on crying... you two are like the family she's never had"

Swiftly I'm being tightly hugged by a giant bulky mass I only can say is raven, getting scared at the tightening hug raven asks shallowly their voice coarse and worried

"Where...the FUCK- were you"

Letting go of me their eyes look sadly into mine, tears fill my eyes as I realize how worried they were, hugging them tightly I say loud as my breaking voice will let me

"I'm so sorry guys... I just didn't have any time to think- I-I-I-"

Pulling away I impulsively hold out my arms exactly like when I was carrying luz to the hospital, her eyes desperately looking up at me to help her. Trying to spit out words I just stand there my mouth silently saying the words in chokes, looking up I go to say 'sorry' but I look down my head shaking 'no'. I finally look up and spit out

"T-the doctor said she was dead during the surgery... but he paused before saying "for twenty minutes". It never occurred to me that the expression she was giving me as I carried her.. running to the hospital that.. she wasn't looking at me. I thought I lost my only true reason to be something... to be happy"

Spinning around feeling like I'm two seconds from fainting I cover my face, every tear from that night returning in quiet sobs as I feel my knees shake. I hear something solid.. not as in wood but like someone's arm hitting against something soft then bulky- it took me to hear luz quietly exclaim in pain that raven had hit her

"Dude don't just STAND THERE and watch her cry as you think about what happened that night... comfort her! Give her some kisses- ANYTHING! Oh luz- please don't start crying too... she needs you to be strong"

I hear raven whisper very quietly but their almost inaudible voice still pops the words out like a Jack-in-the-box, gently a soft embrace wraps around my waist luzes head resting on my shoulder as her tears dampen my shirt, turning around I hug her neck tightly my back flinching every time I let a sob fall out of my lips. Ever so gently lifting me up to spin in a wobbly circle I wrap my legs around her waist and hug her closer, my face buried so much into her neck I only see black through closed eyes.

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