FOCUS-PJM✔️

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AMARIA POV

Kailo tries to sit himself up in his baby pillow as I finish dinner. My father is cheering him on from his spot on the couch.

He's been back for two days. I missed him so much. This is his first time seeing Kailo in person. He works as an architect. He's 49 years old and has refused to find a calmer job. Even with his sickness.

My father has sickle cell anemia. He's beat the average life expectancy by two years.

To celebrate his homecoming, my parents, Kailo are having dinner together. He's been giving my dad wonder eyes the whole time.

As we eat, we talk about my father's job and how well that's going. He said that he's going to take a break and stay home for a while. My mother gives him a look and they both look at me.

"What?" I shift my eyes between them.

"Let's finish up and then we'll talk." My father says as he continues to eat his lasagna.

When we're done, we sit in the living room and I speak first. "Alright. So what's going on? What's with the weird looks?"

"I went to the doctor a few weeks ago. Bout three? Four? One of those. The days blurring together now." He waves it off and continues to talk.

"Anyway, I went to the doctor and they say my sickness is getting worse."

I swallow as I look at him and bounce Kailo on my leg.

"They gave me bout seven months if I admit myself into the hospital and get the full treatments."

"What?" I look between them. "But before they said that you had more time with the medicine."

"That was if I stopped working. I wasn't going to do that." He says nonchalantly.

"Daddy! You push yourself too hard. Me and mom told you to stop working years ago." I tell him and he shakes his head.

"You want me to just take what I got and keel over? Stop living? I'm gonna go either way, Mari. I'd rather it be on my terms."

"But what about us. Me and mom? Kailo?" I ask as my eyes water. He's only going to be one. He won't remember him.

"I'm always gonna be here with y'all. You know that. But I don't want to die by them doctor books. I know they can pump me with whatever to keep me okay for seven months but I don't want to go until I have to."

I understand his words. I do. But why? Why now? I can't find the words to say to him so I just go over and hug him. Kailo looks at all of us with his binkie in his mouth. His wide eyes watching the world.

"I'm gonna be alright, Mari. Maybe you can finally get me on a trampoline." He jokes and my mother laughs.

"Yeah alright. Been trying that for years."

We laugh and joke until my parents go home. Thirty minutes after they leave, I'm taking Kailo out of his bath when Demetrius calls.

I'm not in the mood for his nonsense tonight. I'm really not.

I let it go to voicemail and take Kailo to his nursery. I dry him off, lotion him up and get him dressed in his pajamas. My phone starts ringing again.