Not your Romeo

Chapter 85

Derek eyes meets mine and his smile fades and is replaced by a frown. 

"Who are you girl?", the boy asks me again.

"Hey, Jessie!", Nick comes forward and smiles at me. "What are you doing here?", He asks.

"Well, can I get Derek back to me for a minute?", I ask and cross my arms over my chest. 

"Back to you", Nick repeats my words and laughs.

I look at Derek and sigh, "I need to talk to you", I say.

"Just leave Jessie", he says and clenches his jaw. Wow! He is not the one who gets to be angry with me, I should be. Enough of this shit. Now there is more hiding and no more lies.

"Who the fuck do you think you are Derek? Do you even remember who I was for you tonight?", I raise my voice at him.

"Whoa whoa.. this chick has got you buddy", Nick chuckles, looking at Derek.

"I said leave!", Derek raises his voice back at me.

"No I am not. I need answers", I say firmly.

"Ok! what answers do you want!?, Derek stands up quickly and comes near me.

"Were you with Olivia tonight?", I ask. I cant believe the instant confidence that has boosted inside me. I feel more stronger than before. Maybe its the liquid inside me doing the magic.

"Yes, I was fucking her! Any problem!?", Derek yells. I can slowly feel my strong walls breaking apart and letting the pain come in again.

"You...", I am at a loss of words.

"Who the fuck do you think I am Miss Jessie Damon? I am not your Romeo, I am not that piece of shit who loves you", He says softly.

"Let me get one thing straight.. you are a whore!", he yells on my face, "You fucked with Jimmy and now you come back to me like a pathetic little shit! Listen to me carefully... there was never really anything between us and I loved fucking your soul", He laughs out loud and the boy gang behind makes weird noises and chuckles.

"Lying about you really fucked me up. At first, I told Isha that I fucking love you and that's why she hung onto you like a chewing gum. What do you think you're that great of a person, that people will instantly like you?"

I don't think I am breathing anymore. I am drunk, but why am I feeling the pain? Hearing to Derek's big revelation, I've already turned sober. So all this was a well planned game. Isha thinks that Derek loves me and that's why she became friends with me from the very beginning day. Kay also thinks that I am her son's happiness and that's why she loves me too. But none of this is real. It never was. I remember the day when Derek offered me his sweatshirt, Isha knew about it before I even told her. 

"Isha being dumb, believed that shit. Josh also fell for my lies and he easily gave me all your fucking details", he continues pointing a finger at me- "But now its the time for the big revelations. I never even cared for you bitch! You're just one among other girls with whom I've slept. One lie can just fuck up your world and you've fucked up my entire life! Family! family! family!, you just always push me to my extremes!", he yells.

Tears roll down my cheeks and I cant feel the air anymore. It suddenly feels like I have got no grounds beneath me, I've lost all my self respect and dignity. There is no pain at all inside my chest, but it is filled with guilt and regret. I knew this boy in front of me is nothing but a dick. Everyone around warned me against him, but I didn't care much. I thought he was trying to be someone who he is not. I was wrong. I was wrong each and every time. I thought he deserved to be loved, but Aby was right, loving him is like hating yourself. I am just another Iris for him and I cant believe that all this time, I was nothing but his next prey. I should've walked away from him the very next moment I got to know about Iris and the other girls, instead I threw myself at him, letting my guard downs and pleading to have him touch me. I was so stupid all this time. I was stupid for loving this devil. 

"Now take your shit and leave!", Derek yells and tosses his cigarette onto the ground.

"The College Romeo wins!!", the boy gang squeaks and begins to hug Derek, as though this was like a mission accomplished for them. Derek chuckles and I feel like a complete idiot for trusting him every time.

"Stop!", I yell. Everyone turns to me immediately and I gather my courage to speak up. If I don't talk now, that will be a big win for Derek and I will not let that happen at any cost.

"Do you even have a heart? You were the one acting like a fucking lunatic whenever I was with somebody else! and you know what... I love you Derek", I wipe my tears and continue, "Yes, I do love you and thank you for breaking me once again!", I cry.

"Whoa whoa", The boys behind remarks and laughs. I look up at Derek. He is frowning and his eyes soften when I sob. Immediately he catches up and smirks, "Well, well, I am a complete winner now. This is my actual win. What did you think Jessie? I was hanging around you to get into your pants alone? No! fucking not!"

"You don't know me. I make girls fall in love with me and then boom! I break their heart, I watch them cry and then I watch them die", Derek shrugs proudly. "If you love me.. why don't you go and jump off the building? Iris did that. I just told her to go fuck somebody, but instead she fucked her own life", he laughs, "Go on! Jump you bitch!"

"Come on...", the boys laugh and mocks me.

"Anyhow, I've ruined the lives of so many girls in NYU, you're just one among them Jazz..."

"Don't call me that you asshole!", I snap at him and cry.