it ends with us ✦ draco malfoy (sequel to endgame)

falling pt. 2

    Theo let out a soft nervous chuckle. "What do you mean us?"

    "Well... not necessarily us, but more of how different you are compared to Draco. You would rather me do whatever I want and be happy than following your rules. Just like how you're still in love with me but won't push me to try to get back together." My eyes widened once I realize what I had said. Theo's jaw dropped and he relaxed his grip on me.

    Shit! I wasn't supposed to let Theo know about what I overhead in the flat. This can either make our friendship complicated or uncomfortable.

    "W-what are you talking about?", he stuttered as he took a step back.

    "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that", I apologized. "I just... I've known for a few weeks now after hearing you talk to Alex and honestly, I had a feeling that you still have feelings for me."

    He shook his head. "And you decided to ask me to be your date after knowing this?"

    "Well, I—"

    "That's cruel", he whispered, lowering his head. He loosened the tie around his neck and crossed his arms across his chest.

    My heart shattered. Theo can't even look me in the eye right now. I should have known how this was going to look. How this was going to make him feel. I knew about his feelings for me and I took advantage of him by asking him to be my date for tonight. I should have thought about it more thoroughly instead of listening to Stass and jumping to ask Theo to be my date. Of course he's going to be hurt that I knew about his feelings and made him attend a ball with me that we used to attend together.

    I took a step closer to Theo and gently placed my hand on his chest. His head was still hanging low and his eyes were still gazing at the ground. Because of the height difference between us, I was able to step even closer to him, my chest pressed against his, and look up into his eyes.

    "Hey", I said softly. "Talk to me."

    Theo's blue-green eyes were glassy, making his iris sparkle even more than they usually do. He moved his eye to avoid looking directly at me and a single tear drop fell from his eye and hit the ground.

    I can feel my heart shattering all over agin. To see Theo so upset to the point where he won't even look at me instead of playing it off because we're in public, it makes me feel like I am the shittiest person on this earth. Guilt isn't even what I am feeling. What I feel is worse or just a mixture of remorse and shame. How could I have done this to someone who has only ever cared for me? Even though I wasn't thinking about it at the time and if I just kept my mouth shut he wouldn't be feeling this way, I would still be feeling some kind of guilt at the end of the night.

    I caressed Theo's check with my hand. "I'm so sorry, Theo. I should've told you about what I heard sooner and I shouldn't have asked you to be my date before talking to you. You're right. It is cruel of me to ask you to be with me when you still have such strong feelings for me. I didn't mean to do this to you, but I am sorry."

    Theo gently wrapped his hand around my wrist. He directed his eyes at me and gazed into my eyes. "It's alright, Stell. I shouldn't have such high expectations knowing how you feel about me and how you feel about him."

    "I—"

    "I know. You love the both of us but not in the way we want you to love us. I apologize for making you feel bad just because you don't feel the same way as I do."

    "Don't apologize", I said stroking his cheek with my thumb. "It's my fault, not yours. I should've known that asking you to be my date was going to be a problem, especially with my mother breathing down your neck."