it ends with us ✦ draco malfoy (sequel to endgame)

my last

   I rolled over and looked at Ash. He was serious. His arm was underneath my neck and he had been laying on his side, his cheek pressed against his bicep and his black hair falling effortlessly. He smiled and his dark brown eyes glimmered under the moonlight.

    Ash wasn't joking when he said he loves me. He's serious. It's not like the other times where he joked about marriage. He's not laughing and he's not making an inappropriate joke.

    "I..." I'm completely stunned and have no idea what to say.

    He reached for my cheek and caressed it with his thumb. "You don't have to say it back, Stella. I just wanted to tell you."

    Stella. The third time he's called me by my first name.

    "I don't know exactly when I started falling for you, but the more time I spend with you, the more I fall deeply in love."

    "I'm going to ruin you, Ash", I said quietly, ashamed of how the people who loved me turned out. "No one survives loving me. Everyone always gets hurt and regrets their decisions. I hurt people, Ash. I love selfishly."

    "Princess", he said staring deeply into my eyes. "I've seen you at your lowest. There's nothing you can say or do that can ruin me. While I was falling in love with you, you were in love with another. If that didn't break me, I don't know what will."

    While I was falling in love with you, you were in love with another. It made my heart drop hearing Ash say that. He felt the same way I felt when I saw Draco with Ashley. He was a bystander, watching someone they love and care about feel that way about someone else.

    This is what I meant by saying "I'm going to ruin you". Ash is going to watch me and my heart break while Draco moves on with another. I don't know how long the pain is going to last and I can't let Ash be a bystander. It's unfair to him. Ash deserves someone who can love him and no one else. He doesn't deserve being dragged around by someone who can't figure out their feelings.

    Ash kissed my forehead. "I love you, Stella. Nothing is going to change that. Even if you burst into Draco's wedding in the middle of the ceremony and beg for him back, I will still love you because you are staying true to yourself. You've stayed true to yourself the whole time we've been together. You never hid your feelings for Draco from me and I respect that. I respect you."

    All I ever wanted was respect from my boyfriends. Theo didn't respect me enough to tell me that he wants out of our relationship. Instead, he was a fucking pussy and decided to cheat on me just to feel what it would be like to not be with me. Draco never showed respect for me. From just ditching me before leaving for Paris the summer after sixth year to stealing my letter to Louis just so he can make this elaborate plan to have him cheat on me with Pansy Parkinson. Fuck! He didn't even have enough respect to tell me about his engagement. None of my ex-boyfriends had respect for me. Except for Louis, but he doesn't count because I didn't really have feelings for him.

    Here is Ash, in love with me even though he knows that there's a little part of my heart that is holding onto Draco. With time, maybe I will finally let go, but Ash still loves me regardless. I know that I can't tell him that I love him because I don't know if that's true yet. I need time but I respect him for understanding.

    "I don't want you to feel forced into saying that you love me back", Ash said taking my hand. "You can take as much time as you need. If you do feel pressure, please tell me. I don't want you to be afraid of telling me how you feel."

    "Thank you for not forcing me to say it. I just want to mean it when I say it."

    "And thank you for being honest with me. I rather you be honest about your feelings for someone else than have me dragged through the mud."