She's Coming Home

Awake

Gabby POV
I hear someone talking. Who is it? The voice continues. It sounds like Stella but that doesn't make sense. I try to open my eyes but I can't. My head hurts, I can't really feel my body, it just feels weird. Stella, it's definitely her, keeps talking and I just listen, I start to become more aware of my body. There's something on my neck and things on my arms and there's beeping. Monitors. The beeping is monitors, I must be in a hospital, which makes sense since I seen to be unconscious. So the things on my arms are IVs, maybe a BP monitor but what's on my neck? I feel something else, something in my hand. Maybe it's Stella? Holding my hand? I keep trying to open but eyes but I still can't, I try to move but I can't. So I just keep listening to Stella. Finally my eyelids cooperate and I open my eyes, it's bright, I close them
Stella- Gabby? Gabs can you do that again? I want to see those eyes, I've missed my girl on truck
I struggle for a while then open my eyes again and see Stella next to my bed grinning and crying
Stella- hey, can you page dr Abrams she's awake.
She's talking to someone else now, that name seems familiar. Another person comes into my view, I recognize him but I'm not sure from where
Dr Abrams- Gabby can you follow the light with your eyes?
I close my eyes, it's bright
Stella- hey, I know it's bright but you've got to let him check you out
I open my eyes again and follow the stupid bright light.
Dr Abrams- good, now can you follow my finger?
This is harder, I can see him and Stella and his finger in my face but it's just hard to focus on it and make my eyes move.
Dr Abrams- ok, now I'm going to put my fingers in your hands and I want you to squeeze my hands when I tell you to ok? Squeeze my hands
I can feel his hands in mine, I try to squeeze but my body won't cooperate.
Dr Abrams- that's ok, you just woke up we'll try that one again later. Can you move your fingers or your toes?
Again I try but my body just won't, everything is tighter and sore. I'm still trying to move something and my whole body tenses, not what I was going for but I guess I'll take it.
Dr Abrams- ok, one more thing then I'll leave you to rest. I'm going to try disconnecting the vent and see if you can breath on your own.
Vent? But I don't feel a tube, how am I on a vent? The thing on my neck! Did they trach me?
I feel something on my neck then I can't breathe. Yep, I was definitely on a vent. I focus and try to breathe. I got a little breath, it was hard but I was doing it!
Antonio- hey sis! You're awake! You're breathing!
Antonio's here! Wait if he's here, where Shay? Where's my daughter. Now I hear an alarm going off. I close my eyes, too much is happening, I'm getting tired
Dr Abrams- she's deSATing, she can't maintain her breathing it's too much work.
I feel pressure on my neck and then I'm breathing again
Antonio- Gabby, can you open your eyes again
I'm tired but I need to know where Shay is so I fight for a bit then manage to open my eyes again. They don't want to focus on anything but eventually I find Antonio's face and make eye contact
Antonio- hey can I talk to Gabby alone for a bit
Dr Abrams- I'll be back in an hour for another neuro check, push the call button if anything changes.
Stella- I'll go update the house, see you later Dawson
Then it was just me and Antonio. I hadn't looked at Stella when she left, even moving my eyes was hard so I was still looking at Antonio. I just stared at him hoping he'd understand my question.
Antonio- so you've probably figured out that we're back in Chicago. Puerto Rico couldn't handle the surgeries and care you needed so they transported you here to Med.
Med, that's why I recognized the name and the doctor. Dr Abrams's is the neuro doc at Med.
Antonio- I called chief Boden because I didn't want you to be alone when you got here. He was here when you landed but didn't get to see you, you went straight to surgery. He told 51 in the morning when shift was over and they all came to see you. They've been visiting you a lot. I got Shay ready and we were on a flight here first thing that morning. Voight and Erin met us at the airport. Erin flew in when she heard you were coming here. She's been watching Shay for me when I'm here. Shay's also been visiting you most days. I told her what happened in 2 year old terms, you were hurt and sleeping, she loves coming to visit and telling you all about her day.
Shay's here, she's ok, she's with Erin. I'm so happy she's ok, I want to smile, to tell Antonio to keep talking about her. I'm not sure if I succeeded. Antonio grins, I must be smiling.
Antonio- ya, your baby girl's ok. She started speech here last week and she's loving it. I'm trying to find a daycare for her, obviously we need to talk about all that but you should rest now. Oh but there's one more thing I should tell you. Last week when I had Shay here Casey came by, I don't know why, he should have been on shift but he was hear and he saw her and he heard... I'm sorry I know you wanted to be the one to tell him. I didn't introduce them or tell him her name, I said that needed to be you.
Crap Matt found out about our kid from someone other than me. But what did Matt hear, why did he stop mid sentence? I was confused and my face must have shown it.
Antonio- I know, I slipped up, there's a surprise but Shay's going to be the one to tell you, you'll just have to wait. Get some sleep, I'll bring Shay by later. We can talk about everything else later. You need to rest.
He was right I was exhausted but I need to know something else, how long have I been here, Shay's started speech and he's looking at daycares. What happened to me? How long have I been out. He must have noticed my desperate stare.
Antonio- what's wrong sis?
Ugh! Why can't I talk? Why can't I move? Why does nothing work? I try to calm down and figure out how to ask my questions. I make my eyes look around the room, it's hard to focus far away but I find a clock and stare at it.
Antonio- oh I'm sorry I didn't tell you how long you've been out. It's been 3 weeks. You have a severe TBI, Abrams wasn't sure you'd wake up but you did, we'll get through this. Love you sis, see you later with the chiquita.

As soon as he leaves I close my eyes. I'm exhausted, I don't understand why, all I did was open my eyes and listen. What happened to me? Why does nothing work? I almost immediately fall asleep but then someone's talking to me again. I try to ignore them but they're not leaving so I open my eyes again. Ugh it's Abrams again, I just glare at him
Dr Abrams- same as earlier, follow the light
I do just so he'll leave me alone
Dr Abrams- ok now follow my finger
I find his stupid finger but I just can't keep up with him moving it around. It's hard to focus on anything that isn't right in front of my face. I give up and close my eyes.
Dr Abrams- ok, it's normal for things to be harder when you're tired. Come on, I've got to finish the exam.
He goes through everything he did earlier, nothings different, I can't get myself to move at all this time. He disconnects the vent, I struggle for a minute before my SATs drop too low and he puts the vent back on.
Dr Abrams- ok, I'll let you rest for the rest of the day, I'll be back in the morning to run more tests unless anything changes. No more visitors today except your brother later, you need to sleep.

I hear someone come in but I just want to sleep so I don't open my eyes. I hear people moving around then there's something on top of me wiggling around
Antonio- Shay gentle
Shay! It's my little girl, she lays on my chest. I want to hug her but I can't. Then I hear something I've never heard before
Shay- mama
My baby is talking! I open my eyes, I need to see her. She's so excited when I open my eyes.
Shay(signs)- Antonio look mama awake. Mama I love you(🤟)
I look at Tonio and back at Shay, I want to hold her. He understands what I'm trying to say and comes over and carefully moves my arms so I'm holding her.
Shay- mama
She snuggles into me ever more and I fall back asleep with her in my arms.  

I feel something moving around on top of me, it takes me a minute to remember it's Shay. I open my eyes and Antonio is picking her up off me. I don't want her to leave, I look at them.
Antonio- it's ok, I'll give her back, the nurse just needs to check on you.
I look to the other side and see a nurse checking all the machines and replacing IV bags.
Nurse- Shay do you remember what this is?
I look back at them and see Antonio interpreting
Shay(signs)- mama eat, medicine
Nurse- that's right it's time for your mom to have her medicine and then eat her dinner.
Eat? I don't think I can eat, I can barely open my eyes. I look back at the nurse and see her setting up a bag of formula and a feed pump. Feeding tube, that makes sense. How has Shay learned all this stuff in a few weeks? She probably gets it from Shay. Oh god, that's the first time I've thought about her, I wish she was here, she went through this, not this bad but she had a brain injury. She'd have some idea of what was going on in my head. Great now I'm crying.
Antonio- hey, what's wrong?
I look at Shay
Antonio- what? She's fine, do you not want her in here while you get checked out, I can take her for a walk?
I glared at him and start crying more, now more out of frustration.
Antonio- it's ok, hey I'll figure it out, keep trying.