12. Goodbye, Good Me

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Goodbye, Good Me

London, England 2010

Caroline's mind was a whirl of thoughts, all passing through her head too quickly for her to understand what they meant. All she felt right at that moment was Klaus, how his arms surrounded her, pulling her close to him, so close. She distantly knew that she was the only one who could possibly feel safe in his embrace. No one else was truly able to be this close to him without fearing for themselves, for their lives. But here she was with one of his hands was holding her gently to him by the nape of hair, whilst the other encircled her waist.

She found herself leaning into his touch, her arms winding around his neck, pulling him down to her. Her heart was fluttering like it had when she was human, and she felt younger, more alive than she had in years. Because here she was. Here she was. She finally found what had been missing all these long years.

She should be soaring. And she was. But a part of her was trying to hold her down, reminding her that everything was not alright, that she shouldn't let go this easily. She had to be true to herself.

After what seemed like forever, Caroline pulled her lips away from Klaus', her eyes darting to their feet as her troubled thoughts continued to play around in her mind.

"What's the matter, love?" Klaus asked, his voice low and concerned as he stroked her cheek with an aching gentleness, before placing a finger under her chin and making her look up at him. She immediately saw the worry in his face, and, for some reason, that made her feel guilty. She felt guilty because, in spite of everything that had happened, that he had done, that she had done, here she was with him. Here he was looking at her with such obvious love and concern.

Caroline smiled sadly at him, reaching up to cover his hand with her own. She intertwined her fingers with his, turning her head to give a sweet kiss to his palm. Then she pulled his hand away and escaped from his embrace, stepping back until there was a painful foot of space between them.

By now, Klaus was looking even more worried, his gaze questioning.

"Love?" He prompted again, danger creeping into his voice, his brows furrowing.

"Klaus, I can't just..." She trailed off, lifting her hands in a helpless manner; she had no idea how she should explain this to him. She shifted her eyes from him. "It's been so long and so much has happened... The things we've done." Her eyes suddenly burned on his again. "The things you've done. You've hurt people, Klaus, people I care about."

The Original's jaw tightened, his eyes darkening, and the emotion in his face was shut away. He stared at her silently.

"I can't just forget all of that. We both know I have already forgotten way too much in my lifetime… I can't just forgive you for it." She whispered brokenly, rubbing a hand over her face. Klaus opened his mouth as if to speak but Caroline raised a hand in an effort to stop him. If she didn't get all of what she had to say out now, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to. He seemed to understand, however, and shut his mouth soundly. "I love you." She stated, saying words that Klaus hadn't heard in far too long. His expression was heartbreakingly sad and pleased at the same time. It made Caroline's heart melt and she had to fight not to jump into his arms right then and there. He had gone so long without love. "I will always love you. Nothing can change that. I just don't know how we can move past it all just yet."

She wasn't angry with him. Not really. Caroline had spent far too long being angry at the world; she couldn't do it anymore. But, like she said, she didn't forgive him either.

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