Nest & Wings (Annie Leonhardt x Male Reader)

Chapter 09: Burden of Knowing

The next day,

You wake up with your head spinning as a result of the emotional strain and the sheer amount of information you had to process. The fact that two of your closest friends were enemies—and possibly titans—all along really took a toll on you. You get out of your bed and aimlessly make your way to get ready for the day. Your body was practically on autopilot as you kept staring distractedly at the mirror while brushing your teeth.

"Hey, are you feeling ill or something?" asks Connie who looked creeped out by your expression.

You turn towards him and respond, "No... just tired." Your words had no energy in them, almost as if you were dead inside.

As you head outside, you couldn't stop thinking about what you saw last night. You recall Annie and Reiner desperately wanting to go home. Reiner always kept mentioning how his dream was to go back to his hometown. You were under the impression that it was a village in Wall Maria, but judging by their conversation, it was likely far beyond that... beyond the confines of the walls and perhaps beyond the 'ocean' thing that Armin mentioned.

Putting everything they said together, it sounded like they were on a mission. You remember Reiner mentioning something called the 'Founding Titan' and that they couldn't go back without retrieving it. Whatever it was, it sounded like it was inside the walls. It didn't really make sense how a titan could be inside, but then again, nothing made sense after last night.

You remember the guilt you felt from Bertolt and the likelihood of them having no choice but to do the terrible things they did. Objectively you were fully aware that it's wrong for a soldier to sympathize with the enemy. But these weren't just enemies, and you could perfectly relate to 'having no choice.'

Finally, you contemplate as to what must've gone through Annie's mind when she trained you. In fact, "Why would she even train an enemy to begin with?" You ask yourself. You didn't have the answer to that, but everything she said about her father, her passion for anti-personnel combat, the look of solitude in her eyes, they were all genuine and you were absolutely sure of it.

It wasn't just Annie either. You think back to the time when Reiner saved your life. "As Soldiers, we must watch each others backs!" The way he said it was too passionate to simply be 'under cover.' Either they were unrealistically good liars... or there was something more to them. You're tempted to believe the latter.

As a soldier, it was your responsibility to pass on the critical information you acquire to the relevant authorities— in your case, it was instructor Keith. Beyond responsibility, it was common sense as a human being to warn people when you learn about an impending disaster.

The whole day you try to bring yourself to warn the others about Reiner's plan to attack Wall Rose. You knew very well what would happen if you kept it a secret, you could almost quantify the number of lives you were refusing to save with the critical information you had. Even with all of that, you couldn't bring yourself to do it and you didn't fully understand why.

Your mind was a complete and utter mess thinking about all that and you couldn't focus on anything the whole day. It was so bad that instructor Keith catches you zoning out during the lecture.

"You there, what the hell do you think you're doing?" He walks over and yells at you.

"I'm lubricating the retracting mechanism, Sir!" You answer. It was a lecture on ODM gear maintenance and you were supposed to follow his instructions and service your equipment.

"You do realize that staring at the turbine doesn't lubricate it, right?" He asks you with a daunting look on his face.

"Y-yes s-sir!" You say with a straight face, but your legs were trembling under the desk. Unlike Sasha, you were completely intimidated by the instructor's glare.

"Then get back to work!" He says while hitting your head with the book he was holding.

As the instructor walks away, Marco who was sitting next to you asks, "Are you okay? You look completely stressed out." Marco was always so cheerful that it almost radiated to those around him.

You respond, "Yeah, I'm kind of at a dead end with a decision."

Marco replies, "It's about what regiment to join, right? Everyone's struggling with it. I've got my mind set on the Military Police. But there's no objectively right choice. Just go with whatever your heart feels right." and tries to cheer you up.

He wasn't aware that the choice in question was between letting Reiner move on with is plan and saving thousands of lives. But what he said kept resonating in your head for the rest of the day.

You endure the astronomical amount of stress you were in and barely make it through the lecture. As you head outside, you simultaneously rejoice and dread upon realizing that Annie would be waiting to train with you that evening.